8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Do you ever examine the Christian romance novels you’re reading and ponder how romance is brought across?
I would be the first to say that I don’t have it all together … that I still have so much to learn, but I do know that God has been teaching me a lot and this topic of sensual romance in novels has been on my heart for quite some time.
I’m not, by any means, laying down the law in this post. Just sharing some of my thoughts and wonderings. I’d love to discuss with you!
Pure. Noble. Lovely. Virtuous. Praiseworthy.
If you’re like me and love to read, you’ve probably noticed that many Christian authors add a certain amount of sensuality to their novels. The amount ranges from not too noticeable (but still makes you want to recommend it only to older teens and up) to downright scandalous (you decided not to read by that author again/give it a low rating even though it was adventurous otherwise).
I just saw a review from a fellow reader today, and she had rated this Christian novel less than she wanted to because of the sexual themes in it. She said things like, “How do we expect unmarried women to keep their minds pure when reading scenes like this?” and “are Christian novels just getting more and more edgy??”
Yikes. I don’t know about you, but nothing about that sounds pure and noble. I mean, I like a good romance as much as the next young woman – but what I’m actually looking for is a beautiful, real love story … not a steamy romance that’s pushing at the boundary lines.
Look, romance can be a very good thing. God created romance. Blessed marriage. Designed the feelings between a man and woman. Romance is deep and beautiful! But I definitely feel things can be written in way that’s just going too far or distorting what God created romance/marriage to look like.
So does this writing of sensual romance scenes honor God? Not only are single ladies having their heads filled with things they probably shouldn’t ponder as of yet, but practically only the physical side of a romantic relationship is coming across in most of these novels. I think unmarried women are getting the wrong expectations from these type of novels, among other things …
Like, romantic love is not all about kissing, the excitement of a whirlwind courtship, and having fun in the moment. It’s much, much bigger than that! Romantic love should start as friendship. That friendship should deepen. Christ should be the center of the relationship, from start to end – His approval naturally should be sought!! I believe a lot of the physical side should wait. Many now-married, Christian couples I’ve listened to said that saving their first kiss for their wedding day was how they avoided temptation, firmly upheld a godly purity, ensured that they were only kissing their spouse … It made their kisses oh so special.
Yet many Christian romance novels these days are not teaching that in any way, shape, or form.
Rather, it’s all about how fun the other person is to be with. How delightful the relationship is at the moment, even though they’re not sure where exactly it’s going. And after hanging out a few times, they might share a kiss because they have to let the other know they’re not “just friends”!
And on top of that, we get all the details. Come now, writers, I know we like to make things as real-feeling as possible, but ultimately its the characters’ romance, not ours! I think we need to keep the more private moments of their relationship to themselves, just as it would be in real life.
Some Christian romances I’ve read even go inside the man’s head and mention these thoughts he’s having concerning the woman’s figure or whatnot. And I’m thinking, Isn’t that bordering on lust?
Why are flirting with sexual sin, setting up absolutely no boundaries, and even lust portrayed as perfectly normal and okay in your average Christian novel??
Here’s some thoughts on the subject from author Rachel Hauck: Writing Sexual Content in our Stories.
One thing she said that caught my attention was something along the lines of: “Imagine someone reading the kind of scenes you write to your children, your mother, or grandmother. Or Jesus, for that matter.”
Is it honorable, pure, and lovely? Is it building up and helping others? Is it showing God’s hand in the romantic relationship? Is it a light and example to unbelievers or younger brothers and sisters in the faith?
I have read so many lovely, great books with beautiful romances that are not all sensual! So why are a huge part of the Christian authors letting it seep in and sometimes almost dominate their books? Authors like Jaye L. Knight, Anne Elisabeth Stengl, and Janette Oke are a few of the authors I’ve found who do an exceptional job of writing sweet/clean but incredible romances. However, many other authors of YA-adult romance that I’ve read by have at least a little bit of sensual content or else something like shallow romance/premature kissing. *wrinkles nose*
I’m not saying all of it is simply sinful! But I do think heavy sensuality is definitely crossing the line.
To tell you the truth, I’m just plain getting tired of reading these type of romances. Give me a Jace and Kyrin love story (Ilyon Chronicles by Jaye L. Knight) and I’m thrilled and my heart is sighing because it’s just so beautiful, meaningful, and long-awaited. It’s true love. Whereas the sensual romance focused all on physical and self has me sighing for a whole different reason. They’re so focused on physical desires that they have no time for honoring God or honoring/loving each other. It’s shallow. It has little meaning to me. It definitely doesn’t grow my faith or teach me more about the godly marriage Christians should seek.
Marriage is meant to be sacred. A holy covenant. A beautiful relationship. A godly romance. A delightful friendship. A loving team.
Are the books we read conveying that?
Are we waiting for that, saving ourselves for that?
Also, in a world where we’re bombarded by sexual temptations and depravities right and left, is it okay for us (unmarried or otherwise) to read such books? Is it helping, or discouraging our minds from stay pure??
So what are your thoughts? Do you think that a lot of Christian fiction is getting a little too edgy these days? When is crossing the line? Do you think popular Christian romance author, such as Francine Rivers, write tastefully despite some “heated moments” in their romances?
I would love to hear your thoughts! Please join the conversation and comment below!
** Originally published on Between the Pages of This Bookish Life, May 1st, 2015 **