Fashion and Womanhood

Fashion.

Sometimes it is just so difficult to find an outfit to wear in the morning. I suppose I’m the typical female. There’s been many a time when I’ve strewn my room with clothes, trying on one thing after another. But nothing looks right! Ah! Can you feel my stress?

My teen brother asks me: Who are you trying to impress?

Well, sometimes I am trying to impress some guy, I suppose. As I woman of God, I want to dress in a beautiful, decent way that reflects and honors Him. And I want to save the sexual and sacred and private for my future husband. But still, there’s that desire for men to find me pretty or even well put-together and fashionable.

Other times, there aren’t any young men I’m trying to impress. But I still feel this pressure when getting ready for an event. Like maybe I’m trying to compete with the other women who will be there. I have to look good, and feel confident about my external appearance. I have to measure up to them. I’m not necessarily trying to make myself better than them, but I’m still dressing in a competing way. I’m comparing myself to other women in my mind. I want them to approve of/be impressed by my appearance. I want them to accept me.

This causes stress. This incites anxiety. This fuels insecurity. This tempts me to dress immodestly because it’s more trendy or flattering.

But this is all wrong! We shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to other women. And we certainly shouldn’t be competing. We should be a loving, serving, helpful, grace-filled community, especially with our sisters in Christ.

We don’t look down on girls we deem “unfashionable” or “unpopular”. We don’t feel insecure around women we deem “trendy” and “stunning”.

For one thing, fashions and trends change like crazy. They mean nothing. Secondly, beauty is not the all-important factor in God’s kingdom. In fact, it is fleeting.

Proverbs 31:30-31

³⁰ Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

Perhaps you wear makeup and she doesn’t. Maybe she dresses super stylish and you dress more plain. Dresses, pants. Long hair, short hair. Lots of makeup, no makeup. Trendy, classy. Jewelry, no jewelry.

It all comes down to personal sense of style and, sometimes, lifestyle conviction. But in the end, fashion and beauty do not define who we are as women.

Not to say how we clothe ourselves is of no importance. I believe as women of God we should dress modestly and femininely, with decency and beauty. But this cannot consume us.

We are not the extent of our beauty or popularity.

We are daughters of God, and need to more preoccupied with having the fruits of the Spirit than having the perfect clothes and accessories!

Galatians 5:22-25

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. ²⁴ And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

We need to be more preoccupied with loving each other than “measuring up” to each other! We need to remember that these women we’re competing with and comparing ourselves to are precious souls, made in the image of God. And if they’re believers, they are our sisters! Our family. Dearly beloved by their Father God.

And you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. If you are a woman, you have the gift of femininity. You don’t have to follow all the fashion trends and have all the perfect accessories to live out your womanhood and femininity beautifully.

So next time you’re getting ready to go out, and feel anxiety welling up, stop and consider:

Am I trying to make sure I measure up to Emma?

Am I too desperate to impress James?

Confess those things and ask God to help you overcome them. Accept yourself as you are. Accept Emma as she is. And remind yourself that if James is a good man, he won’t be looking for perfection, but authenticity and a love for the Lord.

Dear woman, you don’t have to impress men. You don’t have to impress your fellow women. Simply live for the Lord. Love Him. Love others.

As for fashion, choose decent, classy, and feminine! Choose what’s you as a unique daughter of God! 🙂

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Is Attraction Necessary?

Tall, dark, and handsome.

Beauty and physical attraction are highly important in the world’s eyes. We can see it in the movies, social media, Hollywood, and many other places in culture. If he’s devastatingly handsome … if she’s drop-dead gorgeous … they’re on the radar. Versus that plain person who didn’t really catch your eye when you walked into the room; surely they couldn’t be your one?

Sadly, the Church is often influenced by the culture, and I’m sure scores of unmarried Christian men and women have an unspoken  list of who their spouse must be…

He must be:

• Tall
• Dark, curly hair
• Blue eyes
• Muscular
• Super fit
• Strong jaw
• Etc.

She must be:

• Small
• Blonde, straight hair
• Long legs
• Brown eyes
• Curvy
• Etc.

And whatever else is deemed attractive by you. We might pass up all sorts of people because they aren’t measuring up to our list … they aren’t super hot. And, obviously, we deserve a super hot person. Can’t settle for anything less than amazing, right?

First of all, we need to come back down to earth. No person is perfect. (That includes you.) We don’t deserve anything, in case you’re the man or woman who is praying for an outwardly flawless, model of a spouse. We don’t even deserve marriage in the first place, much less the perfection we think we need. But God does give to His children blessings undeserved. Furthermore, He is the giver of every good gift and every perfect gift, yet He looks at the heart, not the outward appearance.

So you may need to scrap the old list.

We were made to notice and appreciate beauty, yes. But let me tell you, arrogance is not beauty. Selfishness is not attractive. A bad temper is not beauty. Laziness is not attractive. Lack of self control is not beauty. Neediness is not attractive…

When you choose a spouse based on their outward attractiveness and know nothing of their true self, you are gambling dangerously. It could be that you didn’t choose beauty after all, but a clever facade.

That person’s outward beauty will fade in your eyes even before it diminishes in reality, and you will be left with the unattractive spouse you always feared … the idea you scoffed at. A bitter, passionless marriage.

But I’ve heard it said that a woman deeply longs to be ravishingly beautiful to her man and a man likewise desires to let his woman know how he delights in her beauty … so should we really swing the opposite direction and say physical attraction isn’t important?

Just become more pious and marry that unattractive person who we don’t even really enjoy hanging around?

Are attraction and romance ungodly notions?

Song of Solomon 8:6-7

⁶ Set me as a seal upon your heart,
As a seal upon your arm;
For love is as strong as death,
Jealousy as cruel as the grave;
Its flames are flames of fire,
A most vehement flame.

⁷ Many waters cannot quench love,
Nor can the floods drown it.
If a man would give for love
All the wealth of his house,
It would be utterly despised.

That may sound crazy to you, but sometimes I think the Church struggles with this. We act all super holy, like: love is an action! Butterflies in your stomach is just foolishness. Worldly! Silly infatuation.

But is it?

God created us to be attracted to the opposite sex. To appreciate beauty. Look how magnificently He designed the world – the trees, mountains, flowers, birds, and oceans! Look how we naturally gravitate toward the other gender with hopeful ideas of intimacy and deep companionship. God created us for love, passion, and romance. Read Song of Solomon, for one! And take note of how He instructs the husband to delight in the wife of his youth.

Proverbs 5:18-19

¹⁸ Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
¹⁹ As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.

Digging even deeper, consider how marriage is to represent Christ and the Church. Isn’t the whole idea of passion, love, romance, and intimacy to point us to the depth of God’s feelings toward us? The truth that He will fill us more fully than even a fairy tale romance could? As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so God rejoices over us?

Psalm 16:11

¹¹ You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Ephesians 5:28-33

²⁸ So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. ³⁰ For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. ³¹ “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. ³³ Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Revelation 19:6-8

⁶ And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, “Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! ⁷ Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.” ⁸ And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.

A man should, Biblically, delight in his bride so as to accurately point to God and His love for us.

Song of Solomon 4:9-10

⁹ You have ravished my heart,
My sister, my spouse;
You have ravished my heart
With one look of your eyes,
With one link of your necklace.
¹⁰ How fair is your love,
My sister, my spouse!
How much better than wine is your love,

1 Corinthians 2:9

⁹ But as it is written:

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”

Psalm 18:19

¹⁹ He also brought me out into a broad place;
He delivered me because He delighted in me.

Without attraction, passion, love, and romance, marriage would be dull and lifeless. That doesn’t accurately represent Christ and the Church. Our relationship with Jesus shouldn’t be dull and lifeless. Christ loves us! He gave it all, even His own life, to rescue us. He is the true Prince of the fairy tales. He tenderly pursues and passionately loves (Hosea 2:14-16 & Matthew 18:12-14). And we are to adore and be devoted to Him. The Christian should be in a deep love relationship with the Savior and Creator God.

Matthew 22:37

³⁷ Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’

So I don’t think a cold, pious marriage was what God had in mind when He said this earthly union reflects Christ and the Church. When a husband and wife delight in and are devoted to each other, I believe it so beautifully points to Christ.

Song of Solomon 6:3

³ I am my beloved’s,
And my beloved is mine.

Isaiah 62:4-5

⁴ You shall no longer be termed Forsaken,
Nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate;
But you shall be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah;
For the Lord delights in you,
And your land shall be married.
⁵ For as a young man marries a virgin,
So shall your sons marry you;
And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So shall your God rejoice over you.

And for a man to rejoice and delight over his bride, there has to be a level of physical attraction and in-love-ness, right?

Song of Solomon 7:6 & 10

⁶ How fair and how pleasant you are,
O love, with your delights!

¹⁰ I am my beloved’s,
And his desire is toward me.

So all this to say, physical attraction does have its importance to the Christian single. But is attraction based entirely on looks? I think not.

And God may have to do some work in your heart before you’re at this point … But physical attraction doesn’t wholly depend on that toned physique and symmetrically pleasing face.

As you grow in Christ, you will find that you are drawn to other people who follow Him.

• A love for the things of the Lord
• An adoration of Jesus Christ
• Similar interests, passions, and vision
• A certain personality

All these greatly enhance physical attraction … even grow it where there was none.

So yes, if you are considering dating someone, I believe you should be drawn to them. If you’ve experienced this, you know what I’m talking about. They rise above every other in your mind and your gaze is pulled to them whenever they’re around. You’re excited to be around them and you genuinely enjoy spending lots of time with them. All this without introducing much of physical touch and the like. This is a true test of whether you’re drawn to the person, or to what they are giving you sexually.

Song of Solomon 2:2

² Like a lily among thorns,
So is my love among the daughters.

³ Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods,
So is my beloved among the sons.

This pull doesn’t come simply from a handsome outward appearance, but it is an attraction to the heart and soul of a person. Or, at least, it should be. Because your spouse will fade and shrivel with age, but if  you love them for their heart … for them themself … you will be attracted to them still.

Genesis 2:18 & 22-24

¹⁸ And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

²² Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

²³ And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

If you are only attracted to the model-material type, it might be that you need a spiritual reset. It may be that you care solely about the external and the here and now, and nothing about the soul and the eternal. You have let the world define and teach you what beauty and love are. And they have lied to you.

Not many of us are model-material … And what even is model-material but a certain culture and era’s temporary definition of beauty?

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder and in the connection of souls.

I, personally, happen to think that beauty oftentimes looks much, much different than fashion models.

So, no, don’t date that dull, unattractive person. They might be super cool and attractive to someone else,  but your personality and heart call for something different. That’s okay. Not to say that you should dismiss someone immediately because of an unexciting first impression … be friends with all types! Firstly, because we are to deeply love our brothers and sisters in Christ. And secondly, because a genuine attraction might develop if you give them a chance.

It seems that falling in love is a sweet, mysterious thing. A mingling of two souls. The deepest earthly bond. It should lift our eyes upward. Make us in awe of its Creator. Make us marvel at how rich and complete God’s love must be that it will so fill us in heaven that we won’t even need this beauty that is earthly marriage!

In closing, if you are an unmarried person, I would encourage you to marry someone you truly are in love with and delight in, heart and soul.

Think a shared passion for Christ. A deep, true friendship. Similar vision and goals in life. A real enjoyment of each other’s personalities. Unconditional devotion. Blended passions and hobbies. And yes, even butterflies. 😉

Song of Solomon 5:16

Yes, he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved,
And this is my friend,
O daughters of Jerusalem!

I think then your marriage will be a great blessing, joy, and help to you and your spouse. And will give you a taste, and the world a glimpse, of the depthless, unending love, passion, beauty, devotion, and joy we can experience with God now, and for sure in heaven when we are  united to Christ once and for all as His Bride. ❤

Zephaniah 3:17

¹⁷ The Lord your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Ephesians 3:17-19

¹⁷ that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— ¹⁹ to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

What is Beauty?

The other day, my sister wanted someone to practice her photography skills on, so she popped into my room and asked if I would come be her “model”. 😀 I wasn’t exactly feeling up to it, but my mom said something to the extent, “You should go and help her out.” So I was like, okay, sure. It’ll probably end up being fun.

I got ready. Washed my hair. Put on a little make-up. Tried on an outfit that, in my mind, I imagined would look perfect. Well, when I stood in front of the mirror, the outfit on me, it didn’t look so perfect after all.

I tried on a few different variations, but nothing looked good. A headache began to pulse behind my eyes and my stomach knotted … Thoughts filtering into my mind: You never look good.

Finally I changed back into the original outfit and told myself, You know what, it doesn’t matter. This isn’t about me anyway. And beauty, or lack of it, isn’t who I am. I grabbed my Bible and headed outside with my sister into the crisp, cold air. Let’s highlight something else about me. Those precious moments when I stop worrying about my outward appearance and delight in being my King’s child.

I did enjoy the photo shoot … besides being cold! :p

And I want to tell you all who struggle with insecurity like me: Outward beauty truly is fading and subjective. But a woman who delights in the Lord, a rare beauty illuminates from her.

And part of delighting in the Lord, I feel, is saying confidently to your Creator and for your own heart to hear: “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.”

And: “How mighty and glorious You are to have made me pure and whole! And how good You are, the way You keep sanctifying and beautifying me on the inside.”

Philippians 1:6

⁶ being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

Hebrews 9:14

¹⁴ how much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without spot to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?

1 Corinthians 6:11

¹¹ And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

See, I don’t think the Father is pleased when we tear ourselves down constantly. Insulting His creation.

Genesis 1:27

²⁷ So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

We’re living after the Fall, and there is no longer perfection, so we need to stop grasping for it.

After photo shoots, I might find some pictures with just the right lighting and where I’m standing at just the right angle, and I determine that I might look kinda pretty. But I usually find other pictures that make me feel bad about myself. I see all my flaws and wonder anxiously if this is what people see me like everyday. What are they secretly thinking about me if I look like that?

There have been times I’ve wanted to hide myself because I felt my flaws made me unacceptable.

But this is ridiculous. I have to continually reject that lie. Why would I mock my Creator’s design? How does He feel when I listen to people’s opinions rather than His voice of love, and this cultivates an ungrateful heart within me? Why would I make everything about me and my fear, and hide myself away from God’s love and sharing that love with others?

Ephesians 2:10

¹⁰ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Dear women, beauty is not all that important.

But I do think every woman innately wants to feel beautiful and treasured, so I just want to tell you that beauty is subjective and people have different perspectives. Maybe there have been some people who’ve said some hurtful things about your appearance … but I can almost guarantee there are also others who find you beautiful.

Song of Solomon 4:7

⁷ You are altogether beautiful, my love;
    there is no flaw in you.

And, I’ve told myself, even if every person thinks I’m kind of ugly and awkward, but my eternal Father and Savior finds me beautiful, that’s quite enough.

The only One who’s opinion really matters says: I made you and it is good.

Flaws and all, I am His.

His adopted daughter. Cherished. Secure. Loved.

1 Peter 3:3-4

³ Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— ⁴ rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

My identity and confidence don’t come from others opinion of me. They’re just people.

My God and King, it’s His voice I will listen to. And in His presence, I’ve never felt Him say: you’re ugly. I’ve never felt Him turn His face away from my flaws. Instead, I picture His gentle hands forming everything about me in my mother’s womb. I picture His strong arms always open to me – welcoming me in. His smile brilliant, His eyes filled with bottomless love.

I’m so complete and beautiful in Him.

And even when I’m old and shriveled up. Thousands of wrinkles, coarse gray hair, and body sagging – all the earthly definition of beauty fading away before my eyes – I will still be so complete and beautiful in Him. As I’m His and His alone.

Truly, if you chase outward beauty, you will never be satisfied. You will never feel beautiful enough. There will always be a girl that you see as better than yourself. If you chase popularity, charm, and wittiness, you will always come up feeling empty. You will never be quite celebrated enough. Have enough.

These things are fleeting. Deceptive. Empty. It can all be tactics Satan uses to lead us astray.

Chase Christ. He will satisfy. His Word says that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised! So let’s put more stock in character and faith than a gorgeous face & body and a witty mind.

1 Samuel 16:7

For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Beauty and charm are ultimately ugly without Christ. It will come out that this kind of woman is living only for herself. And you will see the selfish way she chases the high. The arrogant way she pushes others aside. The cruel way she tramples people to elevate herself.

Proverbs 11:22

²² As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout,
So is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.

That’s when you see that beautiful suddenly isn’t beautiful anymore.

But what about a woman who fears God? A woman who genuinely follows the Lord Jesus. Who wholeheartedly believes God’s love for her and loves Him. A woman with a heart for people, who sincerely cares for them. A woman passionate about doing what God has called her to. A joyful, radiant woman. A woman who cares for herself and her household. Who hungers for the Word. Who delights in being with Jesus in prayer. A woman who walks in confidence not found in herself. A woman comfortable in God’s design of her femininity. A woman who laughs a lot, complains seldom, and doesn’t look to you for validation.

Now that’s a woman of lasting beauty! That’s a woman who shall be praised. That’s a woman we should admire.

So, dear sister, I want to tell you that you’re beautiful. But don’t chase perfection in outward beauty, chase perfection in Christ.

That’s beautiful.

May we women grow in this beauty together! ❤

Proverbs 31:30

³⁰ Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Finding Joy in the Lover of My Soul

Happy Valentine’s Day, darling readers! I thought I’d talk about that today since I missed posting on the actual day.

(picture found on pixabay.com)

So, how are you feeling? I know the day celebrating love can be hard for some people. Maybe you’re going through a rough time in your marriage. Maybe you’re in a season of singleness.

I, myself, have no “special someone” in my life at this time. But I quite enjoyed Valentine’s Day this year. 😀 It was fantastically beautiful.

The days before Valentine’s Day were good ones for me. Sunday, my family and I went to Bible study at our dear friend’s house, as usual. I got some laughing in, which is always fabulous. I don’t have anyone in my age group at this particular Bible study, but I enjoy doing a study and chatting with the moms, and also hanging out with my seventeen-year-old sister and her friends. So that’s lovely. *feels joyful just thinking about it*

Proverbs 17:22

²² A merry heart does good, like medicine,

Monday, a friend’s children were over at my family’s house for the morning/afternoon. I went to a doctor appointment, and then stopped at the library. Back at home, I did some housework, then worked on a blog post for a few hours.

Tuesday, we did wood! My dad split while most of the rest of us stacked. I wore my “work pants” which are splattered in paint and such from hours of remodeling work on the house last summer. They quickly became splattered in mud. Friends, it was a sunny day, but very muddy. My boots kept getting stuck, and I had to wrench them out of almost ankle-deep mud time and time again, haha. My gloves were also soaked in mud. Stacking wood is … interesting. Trying to find just the right place for each piece of wood, fitting it together like a puzzle. About the time that the pile of wood was reaching my height, I started feeling tired and it was taking a bit of effort to heave wood into place, haha. But it was then that I needed to go inside and get ready to drive my sister somewhere.

(found on pixabay.com)

My sister and I spent an hour or so at this friend’s house … me writing and minding my own business while my sister and Mom’s friend talked about photography and editing tips.

Wednesday, February 14^th, I attended a Valentine’s Day party with my mom and siblings. I just went along because … you know. Family and friends! I very much enjoyed visiting with some of the moms there. Good fellowship. They encourage me. ❤

I worked on blog stuff, cleaned, and made a gluten-free chocolate cherry pudding cake! I enjoyed a special supper with my parents and siblings, and wrote down things I love/admire about each person.

I went outside with some of my younger siblings and my seventeen-year-old sister, fifteen-year-old sister, eleven-year-old sister, and I danced and sang in the cool night air. I felt so free and joyful, and belonging to the Lover of my soul! ❤

I am happy loving on family and friends right now. Yes, sometimes I do feel moments of deep longing … for romantic love, for marriage, for a man who’s my best friend. But, I think I’m finally learning to be content where God has me. To embrace the path He’s leading me on. Is my desire for love, for closeness, for romance, for a lifelong relationship gone? By no means! Being a wife and mother is still one of my deepest dreams. I still am intentional about studying marriage from a Biblical perspective, and praying for & writing letters to my future husband.

To be honest, I think that’s helped!

First, cultivating a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ. Being closer to Him—feeling His love and Presence—, experiencing the sweetness of prolonged prayer time has filled up a lot of my lonely heart. The more important my relationship with Him becomes to me, the more fulfilled I am as I open my heart and He draws me nearer.

When I immerse myself in the truth that I am chosen and loved by Him—complete in Him—it heals a part of me that feels I’m not chosen and wanted by an earthly man.

1 Peter 2:9

⁹ But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;

2 Corinthians 6:18

¹⁸ “I will be a Father to you,
And you shall be My sons and daughters,
Says the Lord Almighty.”

Psalm 62:5-8

⁵ My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
⁶ He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.
⁷ In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.

⁸ Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us.

I am part of Jesus Christ’s eternal Bride. How amazing and beautiful is that? My dear sisters and brothers who feel “single”, “alone”, and “unwanted” are your identity, dwell on that for a while. You belong. He is by your side. You are chosen.

Ephesians 5:25-27 & 32

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, ²⁶ that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷ that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

³² This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Psalm 34:4-5

⁴ I sought the Lord, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces were not ashamed.

Ephesians 2:10

¹⁰ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Isaiah 49:16

¹⁶ See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;

Isaiah 62:5

And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So shall your God rejoice over you.

Beloved.

Beloved.

Beloved.

If you belong to Christ, know that you are His beloved.

(found on pixabay.com)

The next thing that helps me is fellowship and community. Just feeling like I have a place where I very much belong, even as an unmarried, adult woman. Connecting deeply. Sharing. Giving of yourself. Having a purpose. Being mentored. Conversation. Laughter.

Ephesians 5:1-2

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. ² And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.

Thirdly, as I mentioned above, writing letters to and praying for my future husband is helpful. Perhaps it helps me keep from getting “boy crazy”. It gives me something to focus on and pour my desire for marriage into.

When I came to a place where I did not want to get married unless the man enhanced my relationship with the Lord—unless he is desiring to and actively pursuing Christ, and his deepest prayer for me is that I grow closer to Christ—writing letters and praying started becoming a lot more purposeful and joyful. If I am to marry, he will truly be a man God chose for me. If I am to marry, God sees that man even now, and so I want to pray for him. And I smile at the thought of him reading the letters, knowing I was thinking of him even now. Waiting for him. Truly waiting.

(found on pixabay.com)

So, press into the Lord, even as He’s pursuing you! Find a community to be deeply a part of. And write to your future husband, if you want! Maybe it’ll help you be content waiting for him, rather than getting distracted by every cute boy who happens across your path.

Seriously, being “single” is so much better than having someone when you know he isn’t God’s will for you. You have freedom to passionately run after Jesus Christ and the path He’s set before you, instead of struggling more than necessary because you’re walking a path He hasn’t give you peace about.

John 15:15

¹⁵ No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.

(found on pixabay.com)

I finished off Valentine’s Day by having heart talks with my sister. Then I sat in the living room—the whole house quiet as my family slept—and wrote a letter to help me work through emotions and feelings from years ago. The letter will probably never be mailed. But writing it brought peace to my heart. And then I went off to bed and slept restfully.

February 15^th, I wrote a letter to my future husband. And then I wrote to my beloved Lord. ❤ It ended up being a rough day, in some ways, but God carried me through. Praise Him!

Psalm 71:1-3 , 5-6 , & 22-24

In You, O Lord, I put my trust;
Let me never be put to shame.
² Deliver me in Your righteousness, and cause me to escape;
Incline Your ear to me, and save me.
³ Be my strong refuge,
To which I may resort continually;
You have given the commandment to save me,
For You are my rock and my fortress.

⁵ For You are my hope, O Lord GOD;
You are my trust from my youth.
⁶ By You I have been upheld from birth;
You are He who took me out of my mother’s womb.
My praise shall be continually of You.

²² Also with the lute I will praise You—
And Your faithfulness, O my God!
To You I will sing with the harp,
O Holy One of Israel.
²³ My lips shall greatly rejoice when I sing to You,
And my soul, which You have redeemed.
²⁴ My tongue also shall talk of Your righteousness all the day long;
For they are confounded,
For they are brought to shame
Who seek my hurt.

Oh, and I started a Bible study! Pray for me, that God will work in and through me! And pray for the wonderful young people who are part of the study. I’m excited to seek the Lord together with them! 🙂

Lady Grace ❤

1 Corinthians 13:12-13

¹² For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

¹³ And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Beautifully Modest

Hello, my lovely sisters! I just want to talk a little bit about modesty and beauty today – and share with you a delightful Youtube channel on this topic that I recently discovered!

Modest.

What is modesty? Why do I have to be modest? How do I dress modestly?

Let me just make clear right here and now that I’m not an expert in this area. I’ve long struggled over what is and isn’t modest, and how to dress. I still don’t have it all together. I still have things I need to work on in this area, I’m sure.

But you know what? I’ve realized a couple things. Through praying and pondering. Reading God’s Word. Looking back on who God is and what He has done in my life thus far – what all that says about His nature. Listening to many a godly Christian speaker on this topic …

• Modesty must be cultivated in the heart.
• Modesty is an earnest journey of walking by the Spirit.
• Your modesty should reflect God’s character.
• God is majestic, holy, creative, amazing, good, filled with splendor and beauty – modesty should be about honoring God, reflecting who He is, pointing to Him: modesty should show virtue and beauty.

Can I dress in a pretty way and still be honoring to God? Well, yes, I believe so! I believe you can dress in a feminine, beautiful, honorable, lovely way that absolutely reflects the quiet and gentle spirit God has cultivated within you, and points to a magnificent, holy, wondrous, good, and beautiful Creator.

I don’t think God gives us a set of rules and asks us to do things without a reason and purpose. And if you look through the Bible, you find the Ten Commandments in the Old Testament, and then you find Jesus say, in the New Testament, that all the commandments from God can be summed up in these two things:  Love the Lord your God, and love your fellow man.

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”

³⁷ Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and great commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

Matthew 22:36-40

¹⁴ For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Galatians 5:14

So with everything God calls us to do, with each way He calls His followers to live life, I believe it comes back to the heart, and to love. Some things we think are okay in the moment, are actually hurting/going to hurt us and others – and therefore hurt the heart of God. Are not good or right for us to do.

Galatians 5 is a really good passage to read when thinking about this. It talks about liberty, love fulfilling the law, and walking by the Spirit.

⁶ For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision avails anything, but faith working through love.

Galatians 5:6

I think there are a couple reasons why He calls women to dress modestly.

One: To reflect who He is. If you have been saved by the blood of Christ, you belong to the King of Kings. The glorious, eternal, awesome Lord of all. You are His daughter – His princess. Dress in a way that shows that! Shows your awe, and love, and delight, and passion for your Lord and Father. If we love Him, we truly want to honor Him in all we do.

¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.

Psalm 139:14

And as children of the one, true God, I think we also have a duty to honor ourselves in the way we dress. Honor the bodies that were bought at a price – that are a temple of the Holy Spirit. We should portray ourselves in a holy and beautiful way that would point to who God is.

²⁰ For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

1 Corinthians 6:20

I think it makes sense that we take good care of our bodies and even physical appearance out of an overflow of the love and beauty of our hearts, which are being filled and changed by Christ.

¹⁷ Your eyes will see the King in His beauty;
They will see the land that is very far off.

Isaiah 33:17

⁴ One thing I have desired of the Lord,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord,
And to inquire in His temple.

Psalm 27:4

⁵ And the heavens will praise Your wonders, O Lord;
Your faithfulness also in the assembly of the saints.
⁶ For who in the heavens can be compared to the Lord?
Who among the sons of the mighty can be likened to the Lord?
⁷ God is greatly to be feared in the assembly of the saints,
And to be held in reverence by all those around Him.
⁸ O Lord God of hosts,
Who is mighty like You, O Lord?
Your faithfulness also surrounds You.

Psalm 89:5-8

⁵ In that day the Lord of hosts will be
For a crown of glory and a diadem of beauty
To the remnant of His people,

Isaiah 28:5

⁹ Oh, worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness!
Tremble before Him, all the earth.

Psalm 96:9

Two: To flee sexual immorality. Ladies, God designed men in a way where certain ways we dress can just trigger a reaction in their mind and start up a battle. No, we don’t make them sin. They make their own choices. But yes, you can definitely dress in a way that causes your brothers in Christ to struggle. Is that honorable to God? We should be helping our brothers flee sexual immorality, not adding to the problem!

¹⁸ Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

1 Corinthians 6:18

²² Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

1 Timothy 2:22

We need to flee sexual immorality and anything having to do with it. Even if you aren’t necessarily sinning sexually by dressing in a unholy way, you’re being a stumbling block to others in that area. I don’t think that counts as “not having a hint of sexual immorality among you”.

³ But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

Ephesians 5:3

I believe as we walk closely with the Lord, He gently guides and corrects us. Do I know everything? No. Do I understand everything the Bible says? Absolutely not. But do I trust my Savior and Father? Yes. Have I seen Him at work, gently and kindly and firmly, in my life? Yes, I truly believe so. He is not harsh with me. He loves me. And He sees my heart.

He sees your heart too, dear readers.

As you walk this journey of dressing modestly, I encourage you to research and listen to and be encouraged by fellow godly Christians! But first and foremost, seek the Lord and His ways! Let Him speak to you and lead you! ❤

²⁸ Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

***

Now, for the modesty Youtube channel I mentioned above! It’s called Set Apart Style, and all the videos I’ve watched so far have been really thoughtful! I would recommend you check them out! Not saying this young lady has it absolutely all figured out (none of us do!). And I’m not even saying I would wear/consider modest all the things she’s okay with, but I think she has some really good tips, and her heart is beautiful, and she explains modesty in such a precious and God-honoring way.

Modesty – Honoring Christ In and With All (introduction video)

I also quite love the Girl Defined Ministries Youtube Channel, and really like the modesty standards they show in this video:

Project Modesty: How to Combine Modesty and Fashion

God is beauty. He creates beautiful things. He clothes the lilies of the field magnificently. He made us beautifully, and I believe He is faithful to lead in this area if we simply trust Him and walk by His Spirit.

²⁸ “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; ²⁹ and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Matthew 6:28:29

 

More Videos From SET APART STYLE:

OOTD – The Bride of Christ // Modest Styling Workshop SS16

Modest Dressings Essentials // Tips For Skirts

Modest Dressing Essentials // Tips For Dresses

Modest Dressing Essentials // Tips For Tops