Even Then

Hello, readers. I hope you all have been doing well. I feel like it’s time for me to give a life update to any of you who still follow me. If you’ve read my blogs often, you’ve probably heard me mention anxiety and depression. Today I just want to talk a little bit about my continued journey with that and what’s up in life.

So back in March I moved out-of-state, away from my family. I felt like I had been in a particular season of struggle, loneliness, and lack of community for a long, long time, and God was now calling me out of it.

It all really started when I went to the Cross conference back in January of 2019. I started seriously praying about moving. I backed out, in a decision made in fear. But about seven months later, the idea of moving was put on my heart again. I pretty much made up my mind to go. But the time wasn’t quite right yet. So I waited. Another seven, prayer-filled months ensued…filled with days of deep faith, and also days of deep fear and depression. Some days I felt like I could hardly keep my head above the “water”. I kept going back to 1 Peter 5:6-11, which had long been on my heart. I even memorized it. Amidst the struggle, God provided beautifully right where I was at – no outward circumstances changed. But I truly believed that He was calling me out of those circumstances slowly but surely, and into a time of healing where He would more firmly establish His purposes for me.

1 Peter 5:6-11

⁶ Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, ⁷ casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

⁸ Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. ⁹ Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. ¹⁰ But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. ¹¹ To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

So, my tentative plan was to move spring 2020. But as spring drew near, my anxiety grew. I desperately needed a new car. I had no job lined up in my place of destination. I wasn’t 100% comfortable about a living situation. And I didn’t want to make this trip alone – I’m a nervous driver. How was I going to do this?? Was I really ready for this? Was I running away? What if my depression overcame me in a new place away from my family and comfort of familiarity?

I even had a woman tell me that she thought I shouldn’t move and God was telling her all these things about my life contradictory to what I was thinking. In that moment, though, as I prayed through fear, I felt a boldness rise up in my spirit. As if God through His Holy Spirit was prompting me: Tell her what God has been telling you. How He’s been confirming this move through prayer, your godly counselors, Scripture, and sermons. Don’t be tossed about by every wind and wave that comes your way. Be steadfast. Don’t doubt the Lord’s work in your life. Don’t doubt what He’s been growing a pleasing faith for in you.

So I did. And I kept praying. And committing this to God. And seeking godly counsel. And I surrendered this into my Father’s hands. “Make it happen, Lord.”

Within a couple weeks of really surrendering, a cousin offered to drive me and haul all my belongings. My living situation was established. And I had peace and hope that God was going to provide all that I needed – including a car and job. (Matthew 6:25-34)

I was officially moving March 17th. It felt good to have a set date.

A day before I was supposed to get on the road, all the covid-19 stuff started really blowing up. That night people were literally whispering about a national lock-down. I had my few minutes of freaking out. But there was no turning back now. Did I believe God has opened up the doors for this? Yes! I was going to do this! No more wavering and weakness. I was taking the leap of faith in obedience and leaving the rest in God’s hands. So be it.

Hebrews 11:6

⁶ But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

So I moved. Shortly thereafter, social distancing and shelter-in-place happened. But God provided so abundantly even through these strange times.

And by the end of March, I had a car! April 6th, I started a job at a grocery store! Wow! It was so stunning to see God do above and beyond what I expected. Demolish my fears. Grow my faith. He is my provider.

An even bigger blessing is the way He has gifted me with incredibly sweet and deep friendships, and kind, wise spiritual mentors. Rich, faith community in a way that I’ve never experienced it before. I got a taste of it at the Cross conference. And now I’m here in the midst of it. I marvel at the group of godly young people the Lord has established here and I nearly weep at the thought of how He in His Fatherly love has settled me among them.

John 15:7-8

7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

God answers prayers, indeed. I’ve talked often on this blog about how important I believe a tight-knit, sound, loving church and authentic fellowship is. How deeply I long for friends who grow my affection for Christ. How much I need spiritual leadership. I’ve shared how I’ve been petitioning God for such things in my life. So let this be a testimony to you, my dear readers. God answered. I am overwhelmed by what He has poured into my life.

Matthew 7:7-11

⁷ “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. ⁹ Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? ¹¹ If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

I have recently been able to actually meet for church on Sundays and I already feel at home. This small, solid, loving, Christ-exalting church is what I have prayed for. The pastor is such a spiritual leader/mentor for me already. And again, I can only marvel at God’s goodness and faithful hand in my life.

Oh, how He loves His children.

I don’t believe I have ever felt so loved, belonging, sheltered, and cared for. This is faith community. This is fellowship. This is doing life together. This is encouraging each other in the Lord. This is making much of His name together. Already I have such an affection for my church family.

It does my soul good to recount this journey of faith and ponder my God’s grace toward me. To remember all the prayers He’s answered in such a short time and where He’s brought me!

Luke 12:32

³² “Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

In many ways, I’ve moved out of my season of struggle and into a time of being enfolded into a dear flock of brothers and sisters in Christ.

But in other ways, I struggle on. This is life.

Depression and anxiety come for me periodically, without fail. Almost always they linger in the dark, back corners of my heart and mind. And some weeks, even here amidst a dear church family, I feel near hopeless and my thoughts scream for me to escape myself. For days, I try to get away from the dark cloud, but it lingers and heavily oppresses.

Today I am perhaps coming out of one such week. Glimpsing the light! I spent all afternoon at a park, walking and talking with God. And yesterday evening I was out on the water, kayaking, which seems to be very good for my soul.

The darkness that plagues me is every bit as black even after moving. As I knew it would be. But still, it makes a tremendous impact on me when my pastor pulls me aside Sunday morning after church and listens to my heart and prays over me. And when several others express care and concern and also pray.

See, life is full of troubles. But to have a community of believers to walk alongside you and bear your burdens with you brings deeper hope.

We are His, and Christ is ours forevermore.

So I fight on through depression/anxiety. And I pray for victory. And I know I already have victory. I will not be overcome, because of Christ. I claim the joy that is mine because I am His. The joy of the LORD is my strength.

I do not – can not – give up because of the Holy Spirit within me and the eternal joy and goodness that awaits me. Christ is mine and I am His. And nothing can change that, no matter how numb and “feeling-less” I feel. No matter how the darkness and questioning press. Now matter how the hopelessness and panic squeeze my soul.

I cling to Truth.

And I lift my hands and worship God for Him. And praise Him for putting me here and giving me these people.

This week I’ve been blessed to have trusted friends who listen to me talk and process and agonize and talk some more over this thing I face. They empathize, and pray, and turn my gaze to my precious Jesus. I’ve been blessed to be out on the water – it is soothing and still. I’ve been blessed to go alone to a park and spend hours talking aloud to God – pouring out my heart, reading Scripture, quoting memorized passages, doing devotions, writing,  calling my mom and sister, and practicing disc-golf.

In the midst of depression, I often feel like I’m never going to find my way out. I know that’s not true – I always do come out. But yet it always comes back. I get so sick of it. I become panicky at the thought of fighting one wave after another for the rest of my life.

In the darkness I oftentimes feel like a really bad Christian. A failure. Spiritually immature. I wonder if I’ve been doing something wrong and this is God turning His back. I fear I am too much of a burden for people.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

⁷ And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. ⁸ Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. ⁹ And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

And yet God brings me through again and again and I find my joy again. And I see His work in my life. And I see the purposes He has for me. And I feel His face shine upon me. And my heart is filled with passion and love, and I rest in His embrace. He is my desire.

I still pray for victory over this … healing. But in the meantime, may my Lord’s power be on display in the face of my extreme weakness. May the dark days increase my dependence on Him. May the numb mornings make me long ever more for the day when I will be more alive than I have ever been – when He returns. Then I will be made whole. I will know and be fully known. I will feel perfect love and love perfectly. There will be no more questioning or tears or darkness. I will be truly united with the Lover of my soul.

May you grow in this hope with me.

❤ Lady Grace

Psalm 34:1-5

I will bless the Lord at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
² My soul shall make its boast in the Lord;
The humble shall hear of it and be glad.
³ Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
And let us exalt His name together.

⁴ I sought the Lord, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces were not ashamed.
⁶ This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him,
And saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him,
And delivers them.

⁸ Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
⁹ Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!
There is no want to those who fear Him.
¹⁰ The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing. 

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A Little Update + some Pretty Book Covers

Hello, friends! I know I haven’t been posting lately … there’s somewhat of a reason for that. 😉 Lots going on in life. For one I’ve been swamped with babysitting jobs (on top of my regular part-time job); so much so that I’ve had to turn some down. Also I’ve been doing little parties and things here and there as a sales consultant for Lemongrass Spa. They just launched their spring/summer line, which is really fun!

My sister and I have been going to Sunday services and (more recently) Wednesday night Bible study at a small, Biblically-grounded, friendly church. This has been such a blessing! How important it is to be intimately part of a strong faith community! My heart has been overwhelmed with gratitude toward God with how He has been answering things I’ve long prayed for.

Most dramatic life update of all … I’m moving. January 2019, after attending the C.R.O.S.S. conference, I started praying seriously about moving 17-ish hours away from home to where some of my close friends live. I had already been thinking about it. Last summer, I decided I was going to take the leap of faith – probably in spring 2020. Well, now it’s spring of 2020. I put in my two-week notice at work, I’m packing up all of my life belongings, and I’m heading out in ten days. *is excited and nervous and happy and sad and eager and terrified and numb all at once*

How grateful I am that my life is in God’s hands! I keep praying and committing all of my plans to Him. Asking Him to lead, guide, and open doors. And shut doors. And keep working out every detail of my life for His glory and my good. ❤

I know I have people who love and care about me here and there. And most assuring, I have a Heavenly Father who tenderly cares for me.

I would appreciate your prayers!

***

And with that, let’s look at some pretty book covers. One of my favorite things to do. 🙂

The Love Note by Joanna Davidson Politano

What Momma Left Behind by Cindy K. Sproles

Isaiah’s Legacy {a Novel of Prophets and Kings} by Mesu Andrews

The Peasant’s Dream by Melanie Dickerson

Colors of Truth {The Canton Series #2} by Tamera Alexander

The House at the End of the Moor by Michelle Griep

Mountain Laurel by Lori Benton

Daughter of Cana {Jerusalem Road #1} by Angela Hunt

Daughter of Rome by Tessa Afshar

Each Perfect Gift {A Legacy of Grace novel} by Alicia G. Ruggieri

Memories of Glass by Melanie Dobson

Midnight’s Curse {Beyond the Tales #2} by Tricia Mingerink

The Piper’s Pursuit by Melanie Dickerson

The Rebel Bride {The Daughters of the Mayflower} by Shannon McNear

The Land Beneath Us {Sunrise at Normandy} by Sarah Sundin

On Wings of Devotion {The Codebreakers #2} by Roseanna M. White

The Portrait of Loyalty {The Codebreakers #3} by Roseanna M. White

Something New {a novella} by Joanne Bischof

Veiled in Smoke {The Windy City Saga #1} by Jocelyn Green

Like Flames in the Night {Cities of Refuge #4} by Connilyn Cossette

To Dwell Among Cedars {The Covenant House #1} by Connilyn Cossette

Book Review: Grown-Up Faith by Kevin Myers

Grown-Up Faith: The Big Picture for a Bigger Life by Kevin Myers (with Charlie Wetzel)

My Personal Review ~ 5 stars

This was a super fabulous read! Grown-Up Faith: The Big Picture for a Bigger Life by Kevin Myers is one of those books that I feel like giving out to everyone. It talks about the basics of Christianity and the Bible, faith, and going deeper with God. All in all, I just feel like it’s a great read for Christ-followers, and also those who are young in the faith, struggling, or unsure if they believe at all. So yes, I very much recommend this book!

Spiritual maturity comes not from merely knowing about God, but rather from experiencing God with an intimacy that has emotion and affection. (Grown-Up Faith pg. 18)

Mature followers of Christ seek to be holy as He is holy. That require obedience to Him. (Grown-Up Faith pg. 20)

Grown-Up Faith is engaging, clear, and informative. Overall, an easy read … even though I took a little longer to finish it. I really enjoyed it. There were discussions that I’m already familiar with, and profound thoughts that deepened my understanding.

This is not merely a punishment; it’s a principle. When we disobey God’s life principles, the consequence is death. Why? Because by doing so, we disconnect ourselves from the source of life. (Grown-Up Faith pg. 53)

Everyone grows old, but not everyone grows up. Those who don’t grow up get stuck blaming others. They get stuck being a victim. Or worse, they become blind to their chosen victimhood … (Grown-Up Faith pg. 58)

Kevin Myers talks about reading and understanding the Bible correctly. It is one big story that points to Jesus Christ! He quotes a few great Christian authors and speakers. He talks about some of the tough questions that people ask about God, and shares thought-provoking scenarios to help bring understanding. He discusses our real purpose as Christians. He shares poignant and humorous stories and snippets from his own life. It was all very interesting, and I left this book feeling more passionate about living for God! Knowing Him and doing all for His glory is what I’m made for.

It’s less about being reformed and more about being transformed. This needs to occur from the inside out. (Grown-Up Faith pg. 175)

By obeying God, we become more like Christ and less like everyone else in the world. (Grown-Up Faith pg. 190)

If you are a Christian, this is a great book for you to read. If you are not a Christian, this is also a great book for you to read! I’m so glad I picked up Grown-Up Faith and am excited it’s now part of my Christian Living book collection.

I received a complimentary copy of Grown-Up Faith through BookLookBloggers program. This review is honest and all my own.

Movie Releases 2018-2019 I’m Interested in Watching

Happy Tuesday, friends! Another day of sharing some things I’m looking forward to. I promise, I do have more of my usual blog posts coming … I actually have several articles started, but none finished yet!

So, for now, here are a few movies I’m interested in watching. Do let me know if you’re looking forward to any of these! Or, if you have some titles that aren’t listed, comment below what they are! 🙂

Indivisible – 2018

Run the Race – 2018

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms – 2018

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society – 2018

Play the Flute – 2019

Unplanned – 2019

Overcomer – 2019

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World – 2019

Frozen II – 2019

 

Sacred

There is something holy about life-blood.

Your life is sacred.

Every human life is sacred. Unlike what evolutionists want to believe, we did not happen by chance and we are not descendants of animals. If we were, things like an “elite race”, strategic elimination of the old and weak, and the execution of unwanted babies might make sense, right? Because only the strongest survive, after all. And human life in and of itself would have no intrinsic value.

But that’s not what the Master Designer set into motion in the beginning. No, He created mankind in the beginning, in His image. Totally set apart from animals. Think of that … each of us reflecting God. God Himself breathed the breath of life into man. That sounds quite personal, doesn’t it?

Genesis 1:26-28

²⁶ Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” ²⁷ So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. ²⁸ Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Genesis 2:7

⁷ And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.

So every human being is an image-bearer of the God. And if He would stoop to breathe life into us, I would maintain that life is sacred.

The way we treat human life in this day and age is often with anything but sacredness. Assisting older & disabled people in death? What are they? An object to be rid of and replaced? Who put the power of life and death in your hands?

People treating their pets better than their neighbor? I heard that a question was posed that went something like: “If a stranger and your beloved dog were both drowning, who would you save?” And most people answered their dog. Friends, your dog is not made in the image of God and he does not have a soul. That you would choose a beast that God gave you to subdue and rule over, over an image-bearer of God is unspeakably grievous.

At the pinnacle of this absolute disregard for life, we come face-to-face with abortion. The mass murder of human life. The cruel and evil practice of snuffing out the lives of babies … made in the image of God. Like those precious, little souls can be replaced!

No. Our ground is tainted with the blood of countless image-bearers. It is a deep, horrific sin that we have let happen.

When the first murder happened – Cain murdered his brother, Abel – God said that Abel’s blood cried out to Him.

Genesis 4:10-12

¹⁰ And He said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the ground. ¹¹ So now you are cursed from the earth, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. ¹² When you till the ground, it shall no longer yield its strength to you. A fugitive and a vagabond you shall be on the earth.”

I recently read through Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy, and a novel series by Connilyn Cossette called “Cities of Refuge”. In these books, I learned about these cities of refuge that God set up for accidental murderers. The accused one could flee to one of these cities and had to stay there until the death of the High Priest. And if they stepped out of that city and were killed by the dead’s family, their blood was on their own head.

An accidental murderer! But it wasn’t even their fault, you might say. Isn’t that kind of a harsh sentence? Perhaps. But this shows the sacredness that God places on human life. Image-bearer blood was spilled – sacred life was taken – and this simply cannot be overlooked.

Numbers 35:9-11, 22-34

⁹ Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, ¹⁰ “Speak to the children of Israel, and say to them: ‘When you cross the Jordan into the land of Canaan, ¹¹ then you shall appoint cities to be cities of refuge for you, that the manslayer who kills any person accidentally may flee there.

²² ‘However, if he pushes him suddenly without enmity, or throws anything at him without lying in wait, ²³ or uses a stone, by which a man could die, throwing it at him without seeing him, so that he dies, while he was not his enemy or seeking his harm, ²⁴ then the congregation shall judge between the manslayer and the avenger of blood according to these judgments. ²⁵ So the congregation shall deliver the manslayer from the hand of the avenger of blood, and the congregation shall return him to the city of refuge where he had fled, and he shall remain there until the death of the high priest who was anointed with the holy oil. ²⁶ But if the manslayer at any time goes outside the limits of the city of refuge where he fled, ²⁷ and the avenger of blood finds him outside the limits of his city of refuge, and the avenger of blood kills the manslayer, he shall not be guilty of blood, ²⁸ because he should have remained in his city of refuge until the death of the high priest. But after the death of the high priest the manslayer may return to the land of his possession.

²⁹ ‘And these things shall be a statute of judgment to you throughout your generations in all your dwellings. ³⁰ Whoever kills a person, the murderer shall be put to death on the testimony of witnesses; but one witness is not sufficient testimony against a person for the death penalty. ³¹ Moreover you shall take no ransom for the life of a murderer who is guilty of death, but he shall surely be put to death. ³² And you shall take no ransom for him who has fled to his city of refuge, that he may return to dwell in the land before the death of the priest. ³³ So you shall not pollute the land where you are; for blood defiles the land, and no atonement can be made for the land, for the blood that is shed on it, except by the blood of him who shed it. ³⁴ Therefore do not defile the land which you inhabit, in the midst of which I dwell; for I the Lord dwell among the children of Israel.’ ” 

Deuteronomy 21:1-9

“If anyone is found slain, lying in the field in the land which the Lord your God is giving you to possess, and it is not known who killed him, ² then your elders and your judges shall go out and measure the distance from the slain man to the surrounding cities. ³ And it shall be that the elders of the city nearest to the slain man will take a heifer which has not been worked and which has not pulled with a yoke. ⁴ The elders of that city shall bring the heifer down to a valley with flowing water, which is neither plowed nor sown, and they shall break the heifer’s neck there in the valley. ⁵ Then the priests, the sons of Levi, shall come near, for the Lord your God has chosen them to minister to Him and to bless in the name of the Lord; by their word every controversy and every assault shall be settled. ⁶ And all the elders of that city nearest to the slain man shall wash their hands over the heifer whose neck was broken in the valley. ⁷ Then they shall answer and say, ‘Our hands have not shed this blood, nor have our eyes seen it. ⁸ Provide atonement, O Lord, for Your people Israel, whom You have redeemed, and do not lay innocent blood to the charge of Your people Israel.’ And atonement shall be provided on their behalf for the blood. ⁹ So you shall put away the guilt of innocent blood from among you when you do what is right in the sight of the Lord.

Premature death of a human was taken very, very seriously. And in the New Testament, Jesus Christ says that the commandment to not murder extends to having hateful feelings in your heart toward another person!

So if we think that we can literally end the lives of millions of babies each year, and God is just going to overlook it, we are so seriously wrong.

I believe the blood of each and every one of these aborted babies stains our country … and are crying out to the One whose image they bear to avenge them.

People say that the sexual depravity of this country is bringing God’s judgement. Fornication. Pornography. Adultery. Homosexuality. Transgender lifestyle. And while it’s true that sexual sin is sinning against our own bodies, I would remind us to look at the way the Almighty God is profaned by the sheer number of His helpless image-bearers slaughtered each year.

Sacred life blood soaking the ground we live on.

This is devastating.

It is awful, and evil, and God will not, can not, overlook it. He knows each of the babies. He formed them. He sees them in the womb. He knew them before He ever created them.

Psalm 139:13-16

¹³ For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

Jeremiah 1:4-5

⁴ Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying:

⁵ “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;
Before you were born I sanctified you;

He knows about the devastating new laws passed in New York, and other places. And He will not turn a blind eye.

Abortion is never permissible. Human life is complete and sacred, whether you can see the form of a human yet, or not. There is never a reason for you to take a tiny human life into your hands and silence it.

You do not have that right.

There is never a reason for a mother to take her baby’s life. I know horrible things happen, but it is never the baby’s fault.

Rape. Incest. Why does an innocent, helpless baby have to pay with its life for a grown person’s depravity? How does a murder make things better? How does your pain justify taking the life of another, innocent human being? Is it right to repay horrific sin with more horrific sin?

If you came before the Almighty God and He asked you what reason you can give for spilling sacred blood and profaning His name, what answer would you give?

Their life for yours?

Their life for your pleasure?

Their life for your comfort?

As Ken Ham said: “Abortion is child sacrifice to the god of self.”

You may look at the evidence of ancient rituals of killing children in sacrifice to gods, and shudder in horror. But the truth is that our own shores reek with the stench of this same evil act.

We sacrifice children for self.

Sometimes this is done unknowingly. And that is why it is so crucial that we bring up this subject and understand what abortion truly is!

Why is it that if some guy took the life of a baby in a woman’s womb, he would be charged with murder, but our doctors are performing these kinds of acts every day in the name of women’s rights?

What rights? Woman’s right to kill her own children if she sees fit? Who has that kind of right?? Even in our immoral culture?

Human life is sacred. Every life is life and sacred at conception. They have growing to do yet, but they already have an identity – all their DNA is there. They are a living soul. God Himself placed life inside that womb, and how dare we rip it out?

How dare we take life and death into our hands?

Isaiah 44:24

²⁴ Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer,
And He who formed you from the womb:
“I am the Lord, who makes all things,
Who stretches out the heavens all alone,
Who spreads abroad the earth by Myself;

How have we become a culture of murderers? And not just murderers, but killers of the most innocent and helpless? They don’t even get a chance to live. They can’t fight back. Their voice is not heard. In their own home, they are ruthlessly slaughtered.

Oh, Lord, make our hearts bleed because of this great evil!

How can we help? I think crisis pregnancy centers are an amazing place to start. Do what you can to support these centers. Provide, equip, pray, and volunteer. We should become passionate about educating women about life at conception, the horror and realities of abortion, and providing a safe haven for them and their babies.

We need to realize anew the preciousness of human life above all else in our culture. Pets are dear and all, but what if we invested in the lives of foster children, orphans, and supported adoption like some people do for animal shelters and abused or abandoned animals?

I’m not saying animals aren’t glorious creatures. They should be treated with much care, and are lovable to many. But even one human life far surpasses the worth of animals.

Matthew 10:29-31

²⁹ Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. ³⁰ But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. ³¹ Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

We need a wake-up call.

Not one life snuffed out goes unnoticed by God. He sees. He keeps an account. And He will bring justice.

Maybe we need to start in how we treat our fellow humans. Are we treating them as image-bearers of God? Does the way we treat women inspire them to see their unborn baby’s life as sacred? Or just as so much trash because that’s the way they view themselves?

Isaiah 40:11

¹¹ He will feed His flock like a shepherd;
He will gather the lambs with His arm,
And carry them in His bosom,
And gently lead those who are with young.

Psalm 127:3

³ Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.

I want to insert here that there is forgiveness, mercy, and grace abounding for the woman who has aborted her baby. Come to God with a broken and contrite heart, and let Him bring immense healing and hope. Get help. Tell someone. There are loving, caring people who will welcome you with open arms and help you heal from the trauma and horror of abortion. You are not alone. You are not unforgivable. You are not unwanted.

I know there are women who have been forced to have abortions (by her parents), or have had this procedure without proper knowledge of the life inside her womb. My heart breaks for you, and I want you to know there is healing for you.

I know there are people who were aware of what they’re doing. When they went in for that abortion, or performed that abortion on a mother. There is a new beginning for you. Trust in Jesus. Turn from this sin. There is healing.

Our God is a God of forgiveness. We are all broken sinners in need of grace. And you can come to Him and let the pure, willingly offered blood of Christ make you clean and whole.

Sacred.

Every human life needs to be treated with care, dignity, and honor.

Please, dear readers. Let us fight for the precious, irreplaceable lives of our babies.

JOIN THE CONVERSATION.

SHARE BELOW SOME WAYS THAT WE CAN FIGHT FOR THE UNBORN AND SUPPORT THE SACREDNESS OF HUMAN LIFE.

Open Your Hands

We all have desires, right? Hopes and dreams for our life. We make plans. We work toward something we want. We pursue a certain job or establish a certain ministry. We form relationships. We pray for good things we feel that God might want as a part of our life.

I believe that God gives us desires, passions, and goals. I believe He fashions into our souls the drive to pursue things such as:

• a job that we love & are good at
• a ministry that we have a gift for & are energized through
• a godly marriage
• a healthy family
• a friend group that spurs us on toward Christ
• etc.

Maybe, this year of 2019, you feel it’s time.

Time to …

find that godly spouse to partner with

move out of your parent’s house

become intimately part of a godly church

get that great, fulfilling job

have a baby

pursue your passion by starting college

start that small group for women

move overseas & begin your work as a missionary

publish a book

adopt a child

propose or be proposed to 😉

find physical healing

make a best friend

move to a different state where you feel there is more potential for growth

Whatever it might be. Maybe you’re ready for it. You feel 2019 is the year. And, my dear friend, maybe this is the year for your breakthrough. And that is exciting! Praise the Lord!

But I want to encourage you to keep perspective. Recently, I wrote a post called To Live is Christ. And that is the perspective we must always keep, whether we are pursuing a passion, moving out, getting married, starting a ministry, or getting a new job.

Our Lord says to seek first the kingdom of God …

Matthew 6:33

³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

…and even if you feel this desire of yours is part of seeking God’s kingdom (and it may very well be!) remember that our King can see the whole picture, while you can’t. And His plans will prevail. And it is good! You can trust Him.

Proverbs 16:9

⁹ A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.

Psalm 37:23

²³ The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord,
And He delights in his way.
²⁴ Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the Lord upholds him with His hand.

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Proverbs 3:5-6

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

Psalm 119:105

¹⁰⁵ Your word is a lamp to my feet
And a light to my path.

Proverbs 16:1-3

The preparations of the heart belong to man,
But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.

² All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes,
But the Lord weighs the spirits.

³ Commit your works to the Lord,
And your thoughts will be established.

Psalm 32:8

⁸ I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.

So open your hands, sweet soul.

Hold life with open hands.

So if God plans to give you what you are desiring and pursuing, you will be ready to receive it with the right heart of humility and joy.

So if God turns your plans upside down, your open hands will be able to receive the grace & strength you need to seek His face and rest in His peace.

Open your hands, so He can give you blessings that you never thought to ask for. Maybe blessings you never imagined you’d want.

So He can take things from your life that are actually not good for you (even if you thought they were, at first!)

Hold life with open hands so that you may flee from idols.

1 John 5:21

²¹ Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.

Marriage, a job, a ministry, college, a friend group, a new place, etc., these can all become idols if we grip them with desperate hands.

There weren’t meant to be idols. They were meant to be gifts! But we so easily forget God and try to heft other things into His place. And this is painful.

Our lives are for God’s glory! Not ours. We are to love Him with our soul – our whole being.

When we grip something, with desperate hands, we are keeping that aspect of our life from Him. We are not trusting Him with it. We are creating distance between us and God. Straining our relationship, and elevating a gift above the Giver.

We have become idolatrous.

And believe me, dear friend, having idols is painful. It hurts because it is not what we are designed for. It is not God’s good design – it is not how things are supposed to work. Having idols causes invalid and irrational anxiety, fear, suspicion, and anger. It turns our heart against God.

We need our heart’s desire to draw us to God, not away from Him. To draw us to glorify Him, not fill our heart with suspicion that He is not good.

And perhaps it’s not your desire that is the problem, but your heart.

Me desiring a husband and children is not a problem. But if this desire turns in bitterness, passivity, and resentment because I don’t have it, then my heart has wandered from God and His goodness, and strayed down Satan’s dark path.

A woman having a husband and children is not a problem. But if she clings to them so tightly that she is riddled with anxiety & fear, and is filled with suspicion toward God … What if He takes one of them from me? then she has moved out of God’s perfect love and given into Satan’s age-old tactic.

I struggle with anxiety. Probably both of the medical variety, and just a form that is practiced and becomes part of life if one doesn’t reject it.

I’ve often worried, through the years of my life, that if I were in a relationship I’d be anxious … what if this isn’t God’s desired path for me?

If I were engaged and planning a wedding … what if God takes this away from me, for some reason, right when I almost have it?

Married with children … what if one of them dies? How could I bear it?

This anxiety … this doubt … this fear … this questioning of God’s goodness … this sin … this idolatry … It has lessened as I’ve experienced God’s goodness and learned that I can and should abide in Christ. It’s still something that I struggle with. That aspect of my humanity that I wrestle through. That “old man” that I fight.

It is hard, my friends, I know! Don’t beat yourself up over it. Just press into God. Repent. Surrender. Ask Him to reveal, more deeply, His infinite love and grace to you, that you may not live with a legalistic, fearful heart, but a joyful, peace-filled, trusting, knowing one.

I have had some thoughts that have helped me. They go something like this:

***

If the opportunity to enter a romantic relationship comes my way, I will pray about it and get godly counsel from spiritual mentors … and I will entrust it into God’s hands. I will hold it lightly and pay attention to the words of the wise, the opinions of my family, and the peace – or lack of it – that I feel inside. God has shown me that He is at work in the details of my life before, so I know He will be directing my every step in this also. I won’t refuse to feel pain. If this is of Him, hallelujah! If it’s not, then He has better plans in store.

***

If God is so gracious to me as to bless me with a husband and children, I will strive to hold each of them … precious gifts that they are … with open hands. Because they belong to God before they are ever mine. I don’t get to call the shots. But rather, live in daily thankfulness and entrust them, and myself, into my Father’s loving and powerful Hands.

***

I think if you try this method of trust, humble surrender, and gratefulness, you will find it much preferable to your method of white-knuckled, anxiety-ridden, painful, peace-less, fake control.

Because, sweet friend, you are not in control. And you pretending that you are is not helping anything. In fact, it’s destroying your peace and your ability to live life more abundantly.

It’s Satan’s attempt to steal from you what the Almighty God has give you.

John 10:10

¹⁰ The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

This post is not to say to just expect not to receive what you desire from the Father, but to rest in His peace through the process!

Let go.

Open your hands.

Rejoice in your loving Father above. ❤

Psalm 31:3, 14-15, 19-22 & 24

³ For You are my rock and my fortress;
Therefore, for Your name’s sake,
Lead me and guide me.

¹⁴ But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord;
I say, “You are my God.”
¹⁵ My times are in Your hand;

¹⁹ Oh, how great is Your goodness,
Which You have laid up for those who fear You,
Which You have prepared for those who trust in You
In the presence of the sons of men!
²⁰ You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence
From the plots of man;
You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion

²¹ Blessed be the Lord,
For He has shown me His marvelous kindness in a strong city!
²² For I said in my haste,
“I am cut off from before Your eyes”;
Nevertheless You heard the voice of my supplications
When I cried out to You.

²⁴ Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the Lord.

Hollyn – ISAAC

Aaron Cole (feat. Tobymac) – RIGHT ON TIME

To Live is Christ

Good morning, beloved readers!

I’ve been thinking a lot about the freedom that Christ gives us, and wondering … are we stepping into that freedom? Taking hold of it? Living it? Do we believe in that freedom?

At the conference that I recently went to, the theme was missions. Reaching the nations for Christ. Pouring out your life for the sake of the Gospel. Going boldly into dangerous situations in order to tell every soul. I heard radical stories and saw hearts passionate for Jesus Christ.

When this kind of radical living is on display, fear often sneaks up on unsuspecting persons such as myself.

That sounds terrifying.

Would I be able to bear such things?

What if I’m called to physically give my life?

So the question is, how do we fight this fear? And how to we get to the place where these Christian figures are? Seemingly fearless and excited to follow God wherever He would lead. No matter the cost.

1. You must have an encounter with Jesus Christ.

And I don’t mean some man-made encounter where you recite a prayer, go through confirmation, or obediently get baptized. I mean a personal encounter, where you truly believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord, you glimpse His glory, you trust His love & sacrifice, and this transforms your life. You feel the Holy Spirit literally changing your heart.

Maybe this encounter comes in a moment for some people. For me, it was more like a process. An encounter over many moments, days, months, and even years.

A process where God pursued my heart, and kept drawing me back to seek Him.

And, slowly but surely, I’m changing from a very frightened, very insecure, very unsteady, very weak girl into an increasingly free woman.

A Christ-following woman who thinks:

If, someday, I am led to the flames to die because of Christ, I hope my heart will be saying to the Lover of my soul: “May this be a sweet-smelling sacrifice to You, O Lord.”

And this thought is peace-filled. Like somehow, into this frail heart of mine, the Holy Spirit is gently whispering that it would be an honor to die for my King. And that I would feel peace. And be glad to be a sacrifice for Him if I must be put to death by the wicked of this world. And that I would be inwardly rejoicing, so ready to see His face. So ready to be welcomed in His arms and into my home.

2 Corinthians 2:14-15

¹⁴ Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. ¹⁵ For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing.

Psalm 116:15

¹⁵ Precious in the sight of the Lord
Is the death of His saints.

And I know, friends. To some of you, this sounds absolutely crazy. And it feels kind of crazy even as I’m writing it. And fear wants to rear his ugly head. I am, by no means, perfected. Sometimes I relapse back into my anxiety-stricken self. But, I promise you, this thought did press itself into my mind and on my heart … and it is becoming more firmly planted. This I know, God is working in and through me. And I hold onto that.

You must know Jesus Christ. You must have a real relationship with Him. You must believe His radical love for you. You must see His glory. Otherwise death, sacrifice, evangelism, yes, even the routine Christian life, is ridiculous.

1 Corinthians 15:14 & 17-19

¹⁴ And if Christ is not risen, then our preaching is empty and your faith is also empty.

¹⁷ And if Christ is not risen, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins! ¹⁸ Then also those who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. ¹⁹ If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men the most pitiable.

Why do we do what we do as Christians? It is because of Jesus. For His glory and because of His love. There is no other reason than Christ Jesus. And if we don’t see Christ for who He truly is, then we are confused and weak creatures indeed.

So you must have a real encounter with the living Savior. Accept His sacrifice for sin. And invite Him in as lord of your life. And then …

2. You must allow Him to grow you.

You have to grow, my friends. Don’t quench the Holy Spirit. Don’t allow fear, anxiety, pride, depression, pain, insecurity, weakness, and your own selfish desires to have free reign in your life. Fight them. Allow the Spirit into your decisions, that He may strengthen you to do what is difficult, and even what seems impossible. Surrender.

In essence, it wasn’t you who invited Jesus into your life, but Jesus who invited you into His, drawing your heart to believe in Him. So live in Him.

Continuing on. You need to grow. And I believe this growth comes in four parts:

// Studying God’s Word // Prayer // Community within the Body // Suffering & trials //

Open your Bible everyday. Study it. Memorize it. Read it from cover to cover. Let it refresh your soul. It is like your sword, your weapon of defense. Read Scripture against the attacks of Satan. Don’t cower under his lies – HE IS DEFEATED. Don’t be defeated with him!

Ephesians 6:17

¹⁷ And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;

Matthew 4:4

⁴ But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ ”

Pray. Pray continually. Invite the Lord into every moment and every aspect of your life. Wake up early to pray. Pray in the very midst of temptation and fear. Pray when you can’t sleep. Pray with friends. Ask people to pray over you. Commune with your good Father! Press into Him. Allow Him to be your hiding place.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-22

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray without ceasing, ¹⁸ in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

¹⁹ Do not quench the Spirit. ²⁰ Do not despise prophecies. ²¹ Test all things; hold fast what is good. ²² Abstain from every form of evil.

Become a part of the local Body of Christ. Get involved in a loving, tight-knit, Christ-like church. Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together. You need other believers, my dear friend! God gave you brothers and sisters in Him to help strengthen your faith, comfort your heart, and keep you in obedience. Don’t underestimate the power of doing life with other strong Christians who are passionate for Christ.

Ephesians 4:11-16

¹¹ And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, ¹² for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, ¹³ till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; ¹⁴ that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, ¹⁵ but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— ¹⁶ from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

Suffering and trials. As hard as it is, don’t despise these things, but ask God to open your eyes to how He might be at work. For example, if you’re suffering from lingering health issues or a chronic illness, don’t get consumed in doubt, despair, and desperate prayers for healing. Now, to clarify, I believe it is good to pray for healing from sickness. For yourself, and for the brotherhood. But also, pray for God to draw you into closer intimacy with Him during this painful process.

1 Peter 1:6-9

⁶ In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, ⁷ that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, ⁸ whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, ⁹ receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.

James 5:13-16

¹³ Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. ¹⁶ Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Perhaps He is trying to teach you something that you are stubbornly resisting. Or perhaps it’s just a general growing of perseverance and faith. Whatever the case, God knows you, your body, and the plans He has for your life. Trust Him.

3. You must seek Christ as your supreme treasure.

You desire Him. You long for His love. You want to see His face. You want to live for His glory.

I fully believe that as God grows you in Him, Christ will become your supreme treasure. And that is the key.

To be FEARLESS. JOYFUL. CONFIDENT. FREE.

If Christ is your all-in-all, then you know that nothing can take away your greatest treasure. Because it is Christ and no one can take Christ from you. No one can snatch you from your Father’s Hand. And your perspective shifts from the here-and-now to the eternal, because your beloved Jesus Christ is eternal.

Apostle Paul says in his letter to the church in Philippi that for him, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Like, living life and obeying Christ are one and the same. Living and glorifying Christ are synonymous for him. There is not one without the other.

Philippians 1:21

²¹ For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

He does not hesitate because of discomfort or run away because of danger. He does all for the glory of God. Each decision he makes is made with glorifying God in mind.

To disobey. To be led by fear. To live for his own glory … that is not living at all.

Paul knows that to be spiritually dead is much, much worse than physical death. In fact, actually departing from this world is gain, because he gets to be with the Lover of his soul! Death means going home! Death means uniting with Love!

Revelation 22:3-5

³ And there shall be no more curse, but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it, and His servants shall serve Him. ⁴ They shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads. ⁵ There shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light. And they shall reign forever and ever.

To live for anything less than for Christ is to not live at all.

Do you want to live?

Perhaps you don’t feel the magnitude of this concept, but it is mind-blowing for me. And so completely freeing! I can stop struggling, tripping, and being violently dragged here and there by the slave-master, Fear. And I can step into the freedom of simply living for the glory of Christ. To make every decision to His glory. To put His glory above all else and rest fully in His love.

And the best thing is, the Holy Spirit will enable me to do this!

Philippians 2:13

¹³ for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.

Acts 1:8

⁸ But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

Oh, hallelujah! Praise the Lord, o my soul!

Whether He call me to far-off nations and daily danger, to crowds of people listening to my little voice, or to a simple, quiet life of making disciples in my small, American community & living as an example in a self-consumed culture … I am free to live fearless and all for His glory.

I am free to hide myself in His love, knowing He is absolutely capable of caring for me.

Psalm 31:19-20 & 23-24

¹⁹ Oh, how great is Your goodness,
Which You have laid up for those who fear You,
Which You have prepared for those who trust in You
In the presence of the sons of men!
²⁰ You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence
From the plots of man;
You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion
From the strife of tongues.

²³ Oh, love the Lord, all you His saints!
For the Lord preserves the faithful,
And fully repays the proud person.
²⁴ Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the Lord.

Dear readers, to live is Christ.

I pray that you will live in Him and for Him. I pray that I will live in Him and for Him. And may we band together and love & strengthen each other in this lifestyle!

❤ Lady Grace

C.R.O.S.S.19

Happy new year, my dear readers! I pray that January 2019 began full of hope for you. And that you continue in the strength and joy of the Lord each day!

I have the absolute honor and joy of telling you about what God has been doing in my life & heart already this brand new year. Friends, He is so good. I’m nearly in tears just thinking about this past week and my faithful Father.

The year of 2018 had some tough points for me. So good things, too. But it seemed that amidst all the little blessings in December, I did a lot of wrestling and just struggling against anxiety and depression.

Like, what did I even do to make a difference this year? Am I any different? What is my life? I can’t do this, Lord. I don’t know what it’s all for. I don’t know why I’m even here.

I have a family. But I don’t feel like I belong in my home.

I have a church. But I don’t feel like I’m intimately a part of them.

I have people. But I don’t feel like they see me. Really.

I have ministries and opportunities. But I don’t think I’m using them to their full potential.

I have Christ. But I feel like I’m drowning and keep losing sight of Him.

So I prayed. And prayed. And reached out to godly friends for counsel. Had many phone calls. And prayed some more.

I couldn’t do anything but pray! And God began to teach me something powerful through that.

Surrender, Shantelle. I’ve got this.

You worth is not found in what you accomplish, Shantelle. Or in other’s opinions of you. Or if someone validates you. Your worth is found in ME.

Pray, Shantelle! It’s the best thing you could do!!

Do you not see how mighty I am, Shantelle? I’m taking care of you right now, daughter.

***

So. My long-distance friends asked me if I’d like to go to a conference about missions with them. And I was like … I guess? I mean, I hadn’t seen them for about three/four years and really wanted to! And maybe a Christian conference was just the refreshment God wanted to give me.

After some prayer, I decided to go. And then I prayed a lot leading up to the conference, for a variety of things.

And God worked out every detail beautifully and in His time. What food I should pack (what with all my diet restrictions). Travel and transportation plans. The needed funds. Peace. Confidence. And even what outfits I would wear.

The beginning of this year I traveled to the C.R.O.S.S.19 conference, met up with my friends and their church group, and experienced one of the biggest blessings of my life.

I’m not exaggerating. It was beautiful. ❤

I prayed for provision. Peace. Grace. Outfits. Manageable travel plans. Food. Joy. Fellowship. Friendship. Growth. Community worship. Awe for Jesus Christ. A deeper understanding of what my part is in global missions.

And I believe God answered each of these prayers so richly through the C.R.O.S.S. conference.

I caught a glimpse of what it is like to be part of a tight-knit, loving, Christ-like, passionate, local church. And that vision has captured my heart.

Hebrews 10:23-25

²³ Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. ²⁴ And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, ²⁵ not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

1 Corinthians 12:12-14

¹² For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. ¹³ For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and have all been made to drink into one Spirit. ¹⁴ For in fact the body is not one member but many.

I have moved and bounced around from one big church to another for almost all of my life. I’ve never been intimately involved in my church. I’ve lacked solid, godly, loving people to disciple me and shepherd my heart. I’ve rarely (if ever) associated godly, beautiful fellowship with Sunday morning worship. I’ve suffocated under the burdens I bear, feeling like there was nowhere to turn to for help. I’ve grasped desperately for faith & cowered in terror under unanswered confusion … while pasting on a smile every week at church.

I feel like I’ve been alone … living inside the scary realm of my mind, for most of my life.

But at this conference, one of the big focuses was the importance of being part of your local church. Truly part. Like, they’re your family. They know you. And you know them. And you work together for the glory of God. You love each other deeply. And you together share a heart to reach all people for Christ. Ephesians 4 sums it up so perfectly!

Ephesians 4:11-16

¹¹ And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, ¹² for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, ¹³ till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; ¹⁴ that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, ¹⁵ but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— ¹⁶ from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

My long-distance friends who went to the conference with me have an awesome home church. So, simply being part of their group for four days gave me a taste of belonging to a church family and encouraged and strengthened me in ways I cannot even describe. My heart is so full!

I had good conversations with almost every one in the group. (And for my quiet, rather introverted self who sometimes takes long to really open up and show my real self … especially to men … I found this an exceptionally wonderful surprise.)

We had incredible prayer time together. In little groups of two or three during the conference, praying for unreached peoples. And with our whole group of eleven. And seriously, this was one of the highlights of my week. Seeking God & sharing your heart with Him along with some of His other children who you know care about you. It’s amazing! Beautiful! Delightful! It shifts something in my heart, soul, and mind.

We sat under the incredible teaching of God’s Word together. We learned. We shared. We exclaimed in excitement for what we were hearing. We encouraged each other in the Lord.

We worshiped together! We praised the name of Jesus together. The worship truly was sweet. Lifting our voices together along with about 7,000 others. Seeing your brothers’ and sisters’ awe for the Lord can so encourage you! We sang a lot of hymns, which was so lovely.

We laughed together!

We ate together.

Got coffee together. 🙂

I saw personally the passion and seeking hearts of ten of my brothers & sisters in Christ, being within this group for a time. And this strengthened me in my own faith.

I was able to go to members of the group with questions or concerns I had. And they gave me godly advice and thoughtful guidance. This is such a gift! It’s like a beautiful, awesome revelation that I don’t have to struggle through this life alone. God did not mean for me to.

I made lovely connections, and remembered what it was like to have close girl friends who are my own age! Such a sweet joy!

I felt comfortable and safe to talk with my brothers in the group. And this strengthened my heart … I think just seeing their passion for the Lord, and them caring enough to stop and talk with me. I feel like it’s vital for women to have brothers in Christ who speak into their lives … without it having anything to do with romantic interest.

I received hugs from old and new friends alike! I like hugs. 🙂

My friends’ pastor was with our group, and he is such a shepherd.

1 Peter 5:2-4

² Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly; ³ nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock; ⁴ and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away.

Numbers 27:15-17

¹⁵ Then Moses spoke to the Lord, saying: ¹⁶ “Let the Lord, the God of the spirits of all flesh, set a man over the congregation, ¹⁷ who may go out before them and go in before them, who may lead them out and bring them in, that the congregation of the Lord may not be like sheep which have no shepherd.”

I don’t know if I’ve ever met a pastor with such a shepherd’s heart. He saw me. He cared. He empathized. And he gave me solid, godly, loving wisdom. I was beyond blessed. I felt like he shepherded my heart for a brief time, and I came out more grounded in Christ because of it.

One thing he told me that especially stuck out was: “Every decision we make, we make to the glory of God.” Basically, don’t let feelings of fear, pain, vulnerability, pride, despair, etc. get in the way of you bringing glory to God in every area of your life.

I was welcomed into this group. Treated as part of them. Seen. Cared for. Discipled. Guided. Given wisdom. Prayed over. Prayed with.

It was incredible.

***

But now to the actual conference! I heard from absolutely amazing speakers such as J.D. Greear, David Platt, John Piper, Trip Lee, and so on. I learned about missions, making disciples, goers and senders, local churches, God’s glory, God’s love, Jesus Christ, discerning a call, and just so much!

I would very much recommend going to the C.R.O.S.S. website and listening to the sermons and outbreak sessions! So much wisdom and practical advice!

So I sat under phenomenal teaching.

I was prayed over by strangers and friends alike.

I was encouraged in the gifts and talents God has given me, bolstering my faith that He is indeed doing a work in my life and is going to use me in His kingdom, for His glory, and for the reaching of souls!

I received a bunch of free books!

I had Christ and His love & glory proclaimed to me along with a group of thousands, and also was taken aside personally and taught from the Word of God. Which is just an extreme blessing! Even to be taught individually … I felt like my heart is being guided in Christ.

I found a peace about being a sender for now. But also a passion about being a disciple-maker as part of a local church, and an openness to going the mission field should God ever call me there in years to come.

Matthew 28:18-20

¹⁸ And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. ¹⁹ Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

I was able to encourage others.

I was convicted that my view of God has been too small. I was amazed by the POWER of the Holy Spirit! Even in my own insignificant, weak, struggling life!

I was led in prayer for unreached people groups.

I heard awesome stories of God’s glory, love, power, and grace!

I saw unashamed passion for Jesus Christ from so many!

I was able to get some valuable and helpful advice from breakout sessions … “Should I Just Do Something?: Discerning a Call to the Missions” by Kevin DeYoung and “I Think I’m a Sender?” by David Platt.

Oh, my heart is full and I am just in awe. What a perfect way to start a new year.

I would highly recommend that you go listen to The Gospels: The Commission of Christ by J.D. Greear, 1 Corinthians-Jude: The Significance of the Church by Trip Lee, and Revelation: The Urgency of Eternity by David Platt. Or just go listen to them all! I learned from each of them.

I hope to share more with you about what I learned from the main talks and breakout sessions specifically, but for now I’ll just leave you with a question Pastor J.D. Greear asked, and pray that you consider it as you start off 2019:

“Am I going to take up a supporting role in Christ’s story?”

 

Love Them – PRAYER

How is your prayer life, my friends? I must admit, mine isn’t as consistent and deep as I would like it to be. As I know it should be.

My Sunday school leader reminded us just a couple days ago: You can’t have a good relationship without communication. You can’t have a good relationship with God without prayer. You need to be communicating with Him. Spending time with Him.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray without ceasing, ¹⁸ in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Communication and quality time make for a strong, healthy, intimate relationship.

I have been hearing a lot about prayer lately, from so many different sources. I’m reminded again and again how important and needful and powerful it is!

Matthew 7:7-11

⁷ “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. ⁹ Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? ¹¹ If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

I’ve asked someone to keep me accountable in my prayer life. I want to be setting a time aside to pray every day … whether it means getting up extra early, or going into my room in the evening, putting in earplugs, and asking my little siblings to let me have “alone time” for awhile. 😉 Whatever little sacrifices or maneuvers it takes.

Because I want to have an intimate relationship with my eternal Father. Jesus Christ, our own Savior and Lord, set the example for us on how to have close relationship with the Father. He went out often to be alone and pray and be in God’s presence. Below is just one example in Scripture.

Luke 6:12

¹² Now it came to pass in those days that He went out to the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God.

And, I oftentimes have heavy burdens on my heart that really need to be wrestled over and poured out in prayer.

Ephesians 6:18

¹⁸ praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—

Which brings me to the point of this post … love people through prayer.

Is it a family member?

A friend?

Your spouse?

A co-worker?

A child?

Father? Mother? Brother? Sister?

Uncle? Aunt? Cousin? Grandparent?

Who is heavy on your heart right now as you read this post? Whose lifestyle or attitude brings you grief? Who are you worried about because life is weighing heavy on them? Who in your life doesn’t know Christ? Or isn’t following Him well?

I want to really encourage you –

Pray for them.

And don’t stop. Even if nothing seems to change. Even if things seem to get worse. Even if it takes years to see the fruit of your prayers. GOD HEARS YOU. Keep lifting up that person to Him. Over and over. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year. Don’t give up.

Romans 12:9-12

⁹ Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; ¹¹ not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; ¹² rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer;

At times we are so burdened and grieved over people in our lives, and we wonder what we can do to make a difference or bring about change. We have to realize that we can PRAY, and this is a great PRIVILEGE, and a POWERFUL WEAPON.

James 5:13-18

¹³ Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. ¹⁶ Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. ¹⁷ Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months. ¹⁸ And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit.

Philippians 4:6-7

⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Matthew 18:19-20

¹⁹ “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”

So please, get on your knees before a faithful and mighty God.

Don’t give in.

Satan wants you to give in. To throw your hands up and say: They won’t change. It’s not worth it. I guess I have to just accept this and live with it.

But Satan is a liar. And he is not the victor.

John 8:44

⁴⁴ You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.

Love the hurting and hurtful people in your life through prayer. And wait in expectation for God to move. For He came to give life, and life more abundantly! And He isn’t desiring that any should perish in sin, but that everybody be in relationship with Him!

1 John 5:14

¹⁴ Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.

So, my dear sisters and brothers in Christ, will you commit with me to being prayer warriors?

Will you grow closer to your Lord through prayer?

Will you love people through prayer?

Will you be blessed and encouraged through prayer?

Will you wait expectantly and faithfully for God to move?

Will you just rejoice that He has given you prayer?

• A comfort.
• A delight.
• A hope.
• A blessing.
• A weapon.

Colossians 4:2

² Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;

The Danger of Shame

Dear sisters in Christ, today I want to talk to you about the dangers of shame.

Shame is something that a lot of you may carry. And it’s something that needs to be dealt with, lest it destroy you.

I think shame is oftentimes, if not always, Satan’s tool. Not God’s.

Shame says: You are wrong. Not: You’ve done wrong.

Shame is an identity.

An identity that suffocates you and leads you into darkness and confusion.

You  might feel shame because of “really bad” sins in your past.

You might feel shame because of something done to you.

You might feel shame because of emotional or verbal abuse.

You might feel shame simply because your personality, perspective, or circumstances make you more vulnerable to it than others.

But the truth is, as a daughter of God, shame should not be an identity you claim. Yes, there are times of guilt, remorse, conviction, and repentance.

Psalm 51:17

¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart—
These, O God, You will not despise.

But when you can hardly look at or think about yourself without being drenched in shame, then you are embracing a  lie straight from the mouth of the Evil One.

Because, if you are a daughter of God, you are redeemed. Made pure. And as a human being, you are made in the image of God!

Yes, mankind chose sin and perverted perfection. But if you trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior, then when God looks at you, He sees Jesus. As He accepts Jesus, He accepts you in Jesus. As He loves Jesus, He loves you in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 1:3-6

³ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, ⁴ just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, ⁵ having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, ⁶ to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.

Don’t hold onto shame.

It will pollute you, your relationships, and your life.

Particularly when it comes to romantic relationships, shame can be very dangerous.

A girl might accept all kinds of nonsense from a man because she doesn’t believe that she, personally, could get any better treatment.

She might participate in sin because her boyfriend communicates that she’s worth no more, and she accepts that because of her identity of shame.

She might settle for a guy who abuses her. Emotionally. Verbally. Even physically.

She might stay with a guy who is unstable or self-absorbed because, well, at least he wants her and doesn’t seem to care that she’s this, this, and this.

I mean, who could want a messed-up, stupid, failure of a woman like herself? If this guy will actually take her, she better make this relationship work.

A Christian girl might imagine herself unworthy of a godly man, for whatever reason. Therefore, instead of waiting for a man who will lovingly lead her toward Christ, pursue God with her, and truly strive to live out marriage as the Bible commands, she will run headlong into the first relationship that, unbelievably, comes her way.

But, my precious sisters, that is not how you follow Christ.

God is not pleased when your boyfriend (or any person) treats you badly, carelessly, or with selfish intent. God calls people to love you as He loves you.

John 13:34

³⁴ A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

God is not pleased when you make ungodly, unBiblical, insensible, foolish, harmful, careless, or hasty decisions based on your self-claimed identity of shame and your idea that you couldn’t possibly have a good and beautiful marriage like godly people get.

God makes people godly.

Romans 8:1-4

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. ² For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. ³ For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

Breathe in His grace. Sit at His feet. See yourself as He sees you to be. Breathe out His love. And accept every good and undeserved gift He gives. Rejoice and glorify Him through that gift.

No, none of us deserve an awesome spouse – because we aren’t awesome.

But God is awesome.

And He chose you. He wants you. He loves you.

He has a specific plan for your life. Things like love. Joy. Peace. Purpose. Ministries. Relationships. Fellowship. Marriage. Children. Jobs. Mission Work. Education. Passions and hobbies …

He works through any and all these things to glorify Himself in and through your life, and draw you and others ever closer to Himself.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

¹¹ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.

You may not feel you should get a godly spouse. That a godly man would want you. But if God wants to give you marriage, then by all means, accept that amazingly godly man and shout praises to your Father in heaven. He is awesome!

Let Him wash away the shame.

When you are His, washed clean by the powerful blood of Christ Jesus, you are CLEAN. All clean. No more shame, sweet girl. Bask in God’s love and let God’s love sanctify and change you.

You may have some more growing to do before you are ready to partner with and serve alongside a godly man.

But rest assured, if God is leading your heart toward marriage, He would have you choose a godly man.

Don’t settle for a man who will pull you away from Christ, or even sit back and watch as you strive for faith. Wait for a man who will push you toward God. Who will run the race with you. Who will worship God wholeheartedly with you.

2 Corinthians 6:14-16

¹⁴ Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? ¹⁵ And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? ¹⁶ And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God.

Wait for a man who will see you as God sees you.

Beloved.