Sermons & Podcasts: Relationships, Gender Roles, Romance, and Marriage

Hello, lovely readers! I just listened to a sermon from David Platt today while cleaning windows that was so powerful! And so I want to share some snippets from that sermon as well as some of the other sermons I’ve listened to on this subject … The subject of marriage! ūüôā

Relationships, Gender Roles, Romance, and Marriage – the Best Sermons/Podcasts I’ve Heard

David Platt – Attachment: The Gospel and Marriage

“How we respond to these texts [on marriage] has a direct affect on our ability to show the gospel to the nations.”

“All across the culture – all across the Church – Christ is being slandered by how we live out marriage.”

“Husbands, when you ignore your wife, you’re telling the world that Christ ignores His Church.”

“Wives, when you disrespect your husband you’re telling the world that the Church does not respect Christ.”

“Husbands, I believe that Scripture teaches that you have a responsibility for the loveliness and holiness of your wife. … You are accountable to God by the way you lead your wife to loveliness and holiness.”

“This picture of headship should have every husband trembling before God.”

“Together, Husband and Wife, you preach the gospel to the world by the way you love each other.”

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David Platt – Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: Part 1

David Platt – Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: Part 2

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Ben Stuart – Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Single

Ben Stuart – Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Who to Date

Ben Stuart – Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: How to Date

Ben Stuart – Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: How to Know that You Know

Ben Stuart – Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: The Best Marriage

Ben Stuart – Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Marriage on Mission

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Voddie Baucham – Biblical Manhood

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9am Plenary Wed 20 October 2010.Photo: Micah Chiang

Is a Similar Sense of Calling Required for Marriage? // Ask Pastor John

John Piper – When a Man Loves a Woman Well

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Books I’m Excited to Read: Womanhood, Marriage, & Gender Roles

Good morning, friends! Since we’ve been talking a lot about womanhood, gender roles, marriage, and the like, I thought I’d share my list of to-read Christian Living books on these topics!

Let me know if you’ve read any of these books, and your favorite Christian nonfiction books!

~ Womanhood (& Manhood) ~

Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World by Carolyn McCulley

radical womanhood

True Woman 101: Divine Design: An Eight-Week Study on Biblical Womanhood by Mary A. Kassian and Nancy Leigh Demoss

true woman 101

The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman by Nancy Wilson

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Redeeming the Feminine Soul: God’s Surprising Vision for Womanhood by Julie Roys

redeeming the feminine soul

Let Me Be A Woman by Elisabeth Elliot

let me be a woman

Girls With Swords: How to Carry Your Cross Like a Hero by Lisa Bevere

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Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan for Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer by Priscilla Shirer

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Building Her House: Commonsensical Wisdom for Christian Women by Nancy Wilson

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Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart: Discovering the Beauty and Freedom of God-Defined Sexuality by Kristen Clark & Bethany Beal

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Divine Design: God’s Complementary Roles for Men and Women by John MacArthur

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~ Singleness/Preparing for Marriage ~

Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating by Marshall Segal

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Wholeness in Singleness: Wisdom for Wives in Waiting by Brittney Jones

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Why Isn’t a Pretty Girl Like You Married?: …and other useful comments by Nancy Wilson

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The Sacred Search: What If It’s Not About Who You Marry, But Why by Gary Thomas

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Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman

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Preparing for Marriage: Help for Christian Couples by John Piper

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The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions by Bill & Pam Farrel

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~ Marriage ~

For a Glory and a Covering: A Practical Theology of Marriage by Douglas Wilson

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Your Marriage, God’s Mission: Discovering Your Spiritual Purpose Together by Clint and Penny A. Bragg

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The Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, & Redemption by Matt Chandler (with Jared C. Wilson)

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True Companion: Thoughts on Being a Pastor’s Wife by Nancy Wilson

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Happily Ever After: Finding Grace in the Messes of Marriage: 30 Devotions for Couples by John Piper, Francis Chan, & more

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~Motherhood (& Fatherhood) ~

Missionary Mom: Embracing the Mission Field Right Under Your Roof by Shontell Brewer

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Praise Her in the Gates: The Calling of Christian Motherhood by Nancy Wilson

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Father Hunger: Why God Call Men to Love and Lead Their Families by Douglas Wilson

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Resources For Studying Biblical Womanhood & Manhood

Hello, dear readers! In light of Tuesday’s post, I wanted to share some resources for studying and learning more about Biblical womanhood (and manhood).

If you haven’t gathered from reading this blog, I love this topic. The desire to live out womanhood Biblically is something that is woven very deeply into my heart … It’s one of the reasons I started Lady Grace in the first place! I’m always eager to listen to more sermons on God’s design and Biblical gender roles. And forever looking for more solid books exploring this subject.

So without further ado, here are some sermons, Youtube videos, and books that have helped shape my view as I study God’s Word on gender, Biblical roles, and marriage.

~ Sermons ~

David Platt – Biblical Manhood & Womanhood: Part 1

David Platt – Biblical Manhood & Womanhood: Part 2

David Platt – What About Women, Paul?

Matt Chandler – A Beautiful Design (Part 4): Man’s Hurdles

Matt Chandler – A Beautiful Design (Part 5): Man’s Redemption

Matt Chandler – A Beautiful Design (Part 7): Woman’s Purpose

Matt Chandler – A Beautiful Design (Part 8): Woman’s Hurdles

Matt Chandler – A Beautiful Design (Part 9): Woman’s Redemption

Matt Chandler – A Beautiful Design (Part 10): Together For the Gospel

New Work Fellowship – Mutual Love & Respect: Marriage For Dummies

New Work Fellowship – Love: Marriage For Dummies

New Work Fellowship – Respect: Marriage For Dummies

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~ Youtube Videos ~

John Piper – A Beautiful Woman is a Person, Not a Body

John Piper – When a Man Loves a Woman Well

Ask Pastor John – Confronting Emotional and Verbal Abuse in the Home

J.D. Greear – Spiritual Headship

J.D. Greear – The Problem of Divorce

J.D. Greear – Four Ways Husbands Should Lead Like Christ

Emily Wilson – Accepting Chivalry

Liz Wheeler – This is How Real Men Act

Liz Wheeler – Women are Becoming the Men They Want to Marry

Liz Wheeler – Hey Feminists, Don’t Tell Me How to Be a Woman

PursueGodVideos – What It Means to Submit to Your Husband

Girl Defined – The Number One Thing Single Girls Should Look for in a Future Husband (but rarely do)

Girl Defined – 3 Ways Christian Girls Can Promote Godly Manhood

Ultimate Marriage – The Biblical Roles of a Husband and Wife

Ultimate Marriage – The Basics of Biblical Marriage

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~ Books ~

Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity, and Identity by Kristen Clark & Bethany Baird

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Love Defined: Embracing God’s Vision for Lasting Love and Satisfying Relationships by Kristen Clark & Bethany Baird

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Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson

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The Mark of a Man: Following Christ’s Example of Masculinity by Elisabeth Elliot

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Woman by Divine Design by Dr. Jeffrey L. Seif

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Book Review: Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson

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Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson

My Personal Review ~ 4 stars ~

Reforming Marriage¬†was a very interesting and thought-provoking book. I must say, I’ve not read many books on this subject that are as straightforward, non-apologetic, and radical in its views. Some of the points that Douglas Wilson presents in this book (and some his other books) seem a little rigid and maybe even coming from an unconsciously legalistic heart? But I’ve learned that Douglas Wilson is a writer for John Piper’s ministry (https://www.desiringgod.org/authors/d…) which makes me more comfortable reading his work because I really respect John Piper and his theology (all that I’ve heard so far). And these books were written quite awhile ago – in the 1990s.

So, while I don’t strictly agree with everything in this book, it was rather relieving and refreshing to hear a firm Christian voice on the topics of MARRIAGE // HEADSHIP // SUBMISSION // RESPECTING A HUSBAND // CHERISHING A WIFE // MASCULINITY // LEADERSHIP // MEN & WOMEN’S ROLES // BEING A HOMEMAKER // CHILDREN // BIRTH CONTROL // DIVORCE // and so forth.

I mentioned above that Douglas Wilson almost appeared to have a legalistic view in certain areas. But I also noticed, in more areas than not probably, that he expounded on grace, forgiveness, and new beginnings.

“But what about those who, by the time they read this book, have already done everything wrong? They are now on their third marriage and are troubled by guilt. The good news is that God picks us up where we are, not where we should have been. There is always forgiveness in Christ. Those in such a situation should confess the sin, accept God’s forgiveness by faith, and begin to live in submission to the Word of God.”¬†[Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson]

Some things he said about the woman’s role and such made me squirm a little inside. But in the same breath, his overall presentation of marriage is much more attractive than the modern marriages I see all around me! Small errors in judgement or not, Douglas Wilson’s view of marriage seems to be much more Biblical than¬†most¬†of the views on marriage in the general church today. All in all,¬†Reforming Marriage¬†made the passion for God’s design burn brighter in me! Let’s start really digging into the Word and seeing¬†and living out¬†God’s original design for womanhood, manhood, marriage, sexuality, parenting, and life in general!

The home is such a central part of life. We can see in our world today that with the tearing down of the family comes the eventual destruction of everything good, peaceful, and pure. And, from God’s original design, man¬†was¬†created as the head of the household. So he is responsible for the home, and for the beauty or for the darkness that comes from it.
Reforming Marriage¬†really hit hard on the man’s responsibility as head of the home and spiritual leader. And it was very intriguing and eye-opening. The husband has a massive responsibility, and so I wouldn’t take marriage lightly! Whether he likes it or not, he¬†is¬†the head. And whether women want to admit it or not, we¬†want¬†our men to lead! Women don’t generally respect a man who doesn’t lead, protect, and provide … because that is what he was designed for! And she was designed to respond and to support.

“A woman should marry a man she respects, and a man should marry a woman he is willing to love and lead with a servant’s heart.”¬†[Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson]

I really love the idea of God giving man a task, and then bringing a woman to him to help him complete that task (Genesis 2). I pray that I can be a supporting, encouraging, joyfully Biblical wife someday! What a unique and beautiful design! The idea of a godly man who joyfully and firmly leads, protects, and provides for his wife … who regularly studies Scripture and pursues God individually and with his wife … who answers her theology questions and points her to Christ … who cherishes her and takes his job of raising their children seriously … That is incredible! We need men to rise up and be masculine, hard-working, gentle, godly, assertive, kind, strong, Christ-like men.

“The husband must make a conscious decision to utilize his strength for her protection and benefit, and not for his own. He can only do that in imitation of Christ. In the Christian family, the way to an understanding of true authority is through service.”¬†[Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson]

To wrap it up, on a whole, I really enjoyed reading Reforming Marriage. Some parts were definitely better than others, and I have my questions and doubts concerning some of the views. But still, I gleaned a lot of helpful information and incredible insight, and like the idea of reading this book with my husband should I marry someday.

I recommend you read with an open mind, and always lining up what’s said against what the Bible says! As with all Christian Living books, don’t take everything as gospel-truth. The Bible alone is the Holy Word of God. But we can definitely gain some wisdom from books from fellow believers.

I am a Woman

I am a woman(picture found on pixabay.com)

I am a woman

Created in the image of God

as it says in Genesis 1:27 … 27¬†So God created man in His¬†own¬†image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Formed to be a helpmeet

as it says in Genesis 2:18 … 18¬†And the¬†Lord¬†God said, ‚ÄúIt is¬†not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.‚ÄĚ

“But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

23 And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.‚ÄĚ

24¬†Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

I am a woman

Made to nurture

to support

to help

to bring life.

Prepared to do good works

as it says in Ephesians 2:10 … 10¬†For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”

I am a woman

purposefully formed in my mother’s womb by God Himself

as it says in Psalm 139 … 13¬†For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When¬†as yet there were¬†none of them.”

When God created men and women, He called them good

as it says in Genesis 1:31 … 31¬†Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed¬†it was¬†very good. So the evening and the morning were the sixth day.”

Even though both man and woman gave into sin and evil clouded goodness

I am a woman

and I know that my design is good. God designed woman in the beginning, when perfection reigned. And He designed me as a woman now. Even though I cannot hope for perfection on this earth, I can champion behind God’s good design.

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I am a woman

I am not sinless or pure

But I am an image-bearer of the immortal King of Kings

As is every human being, and does that not call for us to respect each other as we struggle to find our way back to the One we were created in the image of?

We could not find our way on our own – the Heavenly Father pursues us

as it says in Romans 5:8 … 8¬†But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

and in 1 John 4:19 …19¬†We love Him¬†because He first loved us.”

I am a woman

forgiven and made clean by the blood of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

And as I look out into the world, filled with people who do not know God, yet were created in His image, I want them to know of the Love that brought me back to my Creator.

If we, as Christ-following women and men, do not treat each other with love and respect and dignity, how will the lost know we serve a loving Creator?

As it says in John 13:35 … 35¬†By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.‚ÄĚ “

I am a woman

Not more important than men. No.

But not “less” than men.

We are all the same – all equal – in Christ

as it says in Galatians 3:28 … 28¬†There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

But I am specifically a woman

Not more or less than men

but beautifully different

Given a different role and purpose for a reason

to complement each other,

not be in competition.

Sometimes to come together in marriage

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And with our unique identities combined

create the perfect “home” for children

to raise them in the knowledge and love of the Lord.

To reflect the nature of the Most High God in the way He created us as male and female

To radiantly glorify Him with our different but equally important and honorable roles.

I am a woman

And as such, I believe in

Femininity

Beautiful and loving and God-honoring marriages

Radiant Motherhood

Supporting and respecting men (in particular, one’s husband)

Keeping a joyful home

In short, I believe in my right to be a real woman! A woman as God created … feminine, gentle, strong, nurturing, supporting, companionable, life-giving …

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I believe there is much beauty and fulfillment and honor in standing by your man, making a home, and raising children for the Lord.

Proverbs 31:25-27 25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27¬†She watches over the ways of her household,”

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I am a woman

I have not given up on men. I believe they can and will and do step up to their godly calling. I still believe in:

Chivalry

Masculinity

Leaders

Protectors

Providers

Gentlemen

I am not less than men. But I am a woman, designed by God to be treated with care by men.

As it says in 1 Peter 3:7 …¬†7¬†Husbands, likewise, dwell with¬†them¬†with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as¬†being¬†heirs together of the grace of life,”

If I am the weaker vessel, I believe God decreed that I should be treated (especially by men) with:

Gentleness

Kindness

Understanding

Honor

Respect

I am a woman

And yes, I truly am honored and enjoy (and even crave this) when men, in sincerity of heart:

open doors for me

offer a hand to steady me

protectively guide me through a crowd

value my thoughts and opinions

offer to help with something I may be having a hard time managing on my own

offer to walk me home, a coat, hat, etc. when I’m cold, a presence if I’m uncomfortable or being harassed

strive to guard my heart and my purity

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In short, I (and many other women) truly appreciate when men are gentlemanly, appropriately protective, looking out for us, kind, gentle, leaders, honorable, respectful, etc.

We appreciate and champion real men who are

masculine, protective, and courageous leaders

but also humble, gentle, selfless, and tender providers.

I am a woman

And I believe that if God wills for me to get married, I should wait for a godly man to pursue me.

Pursue me:

cautiously

intentionally

wisely

respectfully

patiently

honorably

chivalrously

gently

kindly

selflessly

Because if I, by God’s command, am to submit to, respect, and support my husband, and he is to be head over me (responsible for me) and love me as Christ loves the Church …

I should wait for a man of God

and he should prove to me he knows and is prepared to be a husband as God designed.

And I believe romantic relationships should play out in an honorable way – the man leading, but both individuals treating each other with respect and wisely, with the knowledge that they might not belong to each other in the end.

Proverbs 18:22 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the¬†Lord.”

1 Timothy 5:1-2 Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort¬†him¬†as a father, younger men as brothers,¬†2¬†older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.”

Colossians 3:19 19¬†Husbands, love your wives, and¬†do not be harsh with them.”

Ephesians 5:22-33 22¬†Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.¬†23¬†For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.¬†24¬†Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so¬†let¬†the wives¬†be¬†to their own husbands in everything.”

25¬†Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,¬†26¬†that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,¬†27¬†that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.¬†28¬†So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.¬†29¬†For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord¬†does¬†the church.¬†30¬†For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.¬†31¬†‚ÄúFor this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.‚Ä̬†32¬†This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.¬†33¬†Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife¬†see¬†that she respects¬†her¬†husband.”

Ephesians 4:1-3 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called,¬†2¬†with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love,¬†3¬†endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. “

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 9 Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 4¬†Love suffers long¬†and¬†is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;¬†5¬†does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;¬†6¬†does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;¬†7¬†bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Song of Solomon 5:16 This is my beloved,
And this is my friend,
O daughters of Jerusalem!”

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I am woman …

striving to be a woman of God. Obey the Word. Live out God’s good design.

Proverbs 11:19 16¬†A gracious woman retains honor,”

Titus 2:3-5 3¬†the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things‚ÄĒ¬†4¬†that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,¬†5¬†to be¬†discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”

Proverbs 12:4 4¬†An excellent¬†wife¬†is¬†the crown of her husband,”

1 Peter 3:4 4¬†rather¬†let it be¬†the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible¬†beauty¬†of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

Proverbs 19:14 14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,
But a prudent wife¬†is¬†from the¬†Lord.”

Proverbs 31:10-12 10 Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.”

Proverbs 31:30-31 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.”

I am a woman

And I want to be unashamedly a woman.

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Living out my femininity in a Biblical way. And thus encouraging men to live out their masculinity as God designed and blessed.

God had a good plan in forming both male and female, and giving us different roles. As children of God we should be seeking Him, searching for wisdom, gaining understanding about His design for womanhood, manhood, singleness, marriage, family, life … and passionately living it out.

Lady Grace ‚̧