Pages of My Journal: A Letter to My Future Husband

A letter to my future husband

Dear Future Husband,

I want to see you through God’s eyes. I was doing my devotional, and today’s happened to be talking about marriage. At the end, it had a challenge: commit to praying that you can see your spouse through God’s eyes. I thought: Maybe I can do that now. Perhaps I can pray, over and over, that I’ll be able to see you as God sees you. That as soon as I meet you, I will see a child of God. The Lord’s adopted son. A human being with a priceless, precious soul. A potential friend with hurts, struggles, hopes and dreams that maybe I can speak to.

If God sees fit to bless me with a spouse, a husband, you … then I want to treat you as a gift. I want to start cultivating a heart, right now, that is thankful for you, that esteems you, that cherishes you.

I hope and pray that you will be, in every sense of the phrase, my best friend. That we not only have a firm and solid foundation of brother and sister in Christ, but we also have the committed and dear foundation of true friendship. That romance can blossom from that, and we will always stick by each other.

I think this is something I worry about. Perhaps because, in some marriages, it seems that after the infatuation fades, the husband and wife are more enemies than friends. Competing, comparing, and keeping score. I don’t want that. It’s a worrisome thought.

But I trust my Lord, Jesus Christ. I trust my perfect Father. I know He’s working on my heart, and yours. I know He has a good and beautiful path for us. And I know that a romance with Him is what truly sustains. No matter what, I will follow Him. ❤

Yours faithfully

Proverbs 31:10-12

10 Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.

Proverbs 12:4

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,

Psalm 139:23-24

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

Dear Future Husband …


Dear Future Husband,

I want to apologize. To say sorry for making it all about me. Perhaps it’s a girl thing—to think when there is a young man who catches our notice: Maybe he’s the one. Could he be my prince charming? –Come to rescue me. Fulfill me. Make me happy. Call me beautiful. Make me secure. Complete me.

Me. Me. Me. I’m sorry. We shouldn’t always do that. I shouldn’t do that. When we see you, we should see a child of God. A young man treasured by the Creator. A temple of the Holy Spirit. A brother. Possibly a friend. Who knows—perhaps more in time? But right now, we should just see you. Not someone who could potentially fulfill all our “happily ever after” dreams, but a fellow human being who has struggles, hurts, and hopes, and needs encouragement and love, just like we do.

I’m sorry. The burden I oftentimes subconsciously plan on putting on you is ridiculous. There’s been hurt in my life, but I cannot put my hope in you to make it right. You can’t fulfill me. You can’t right my world. After all, you are only a man. A good man, I am sure, but a man, nonetheless. Not a god. In fact, because of your sins, God had to sacrifice His Son, Jesus Christ, to save you! The story is the same with me. So, as two imperfect, broken human beings, how could we possibly be able to fulfill the other?

I need to stop having this unhealthy expectation of you, and start putting all my hope in the Lord. Because if I went into marriage like that, it would cause intense unmet expectations and pain and strife. But if we come together, both keeping God as our first love, and placing Him in the center of our relationship, then perhaps it could be something immensely beautiful.

It isn’t all about me. It’s about you. And most of all, it’s about God, and honoring Him in everything we do! Dear future husband, if God plans to bring you along sometime, I want our friendship to encourage and bring joy to the both of us. I want our love story to be beautiful, for me and for you—like God designed the love between a man and a woman to be. I want our marriage to radiantly glorify Him. He is worthy! And His path is very good.

So, I want to do better. For Him. For you. For me.

Faithfully Yours

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Psalm 62:5-8

My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.

*** Note: Originally published on Between the Pages of this Bookish Life, June 24th, 2016.