Book Review: Not Yet Married by Marshall Segal


Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating by Marshall Segal

My Personal Review ~ 5 stars

Another thought-provoking resource on dating and singleness for the masses. You all who are not yet married, I recommend reading Marshall Segal’s Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating! This author knows the struggles, and perks, of singleness, and also the mission and joy of a godly marriage. And he writes for John Piper’s ministry, Desiring God, which I really enjoy following.

Not Yet Married is one of the few books on dating and marriage from the Christian nonfiction market that digs super deep and challenges the norm within even the Church. It actually made me think of the book, Sex, Dating, and Relationships: A Fresh Approach by Gerald Hiestand and Jay S. Thomas, which I recently read.

When people in the world are expecting less and less of each other in dating, God isn’t. ~ Not Yet Married by Marshall Segal

Marshall Segal exhorts the life of the single Christian while also highlighting the spectacular picture that a lifelong, Christ-like marriage is. He makes us take a long look at dating, why we desire it, and how we go about it … Does the Bible talk about dating? What does God say about how we should journey toward marriage? Are we thinking about loving God and people through our dating life?

Regardless of the believer you marry, you will likely find out soon enough that you do not feel as “compatible” as you once did, but hopefully you will marvel more at God’s love for you in Jesus and the amazing privilege it is to live out that love together, especially in light of your differences and inadequacies. ~ Not Yet Married by Marshall Segal

The first section of the book, THE NOT-YET-MARRIED LIFE, talks about all things singleness. How we are complete and fully loved in Christ, as we are: unmarried. How our lives have purpose and meaning right now – and that God is possibly even calling us to big tasks that would be harder to accomplish if we were married. How singleness is not an excuse for laziness, self-pity, lack of commitment, addiction, or a lack of spiritual growth.

When everyone else your age refuses to be tied down and resists being accountable, submit yourself to a body of believers. Drive a stake into the ground and say to the whole world that you belong to Jesus, that your life is His, and that you’re willing to have others hold you to that. Tell them Christianity is not a tiny corner of your life; it is your life. ~ Not Yet Married by Marshall Segal

WHEN THE NOT YET MARRIED MEET, part two of the book, talks about dating, romance, clarity, intimacy, commitment, marriage, and more. Marshall Segal shares some about his own love story and how he got there.

There were a few things here and there in this book that I’m not sure what I think about. Some bits seemed hard or almost contradictory to other parts. But, overall, it’s a superb read and points one to Christ and to a higher view of marriage. And a fuller life as an unmarried, but surely blessed, individual!

While married people provide an important perspective and example, you also need people in your life who are experiencing the same feelings, longings, and temptations you are. You should find and invest in people who are asking the same questions as you and also seeking to make the most of this unique season of singleness for Jesus’ sake. Think about it: though he was single, Paul did most of his ministry with someone. … Following Christ was never meant to be done alone, even when you’re not yet married. Not Yet Married by Marshall Segal


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